i can't believe it!
I can't believe that in just a few days - baby girl will be here.
it's so surreal.
there are just too many thoughts and feelings (FEELZ!) going on everywhere so i'll try to consolidate and organize and articulate some of that here for my safe keeping. it'll be a random vomit of words but hopefully it'll help me to remember the hazy craze of this last week before baby #2.
what have we been up to?
life has gone on, as usual - without any drastic difference from any other week or month of our lives. errands, playdates, chores, etc. eugene has been working his new job for about 1.5 months now, so much of our lives have been trying to adjust and adapt and figure out how to fit into our new normal. eugene's days off are filled with sweet mundanes (going grocery shopping together, going out for lunch, running errands, playing at home, chores) and his work-days are busy with me keeping asher pre-occupied and coming home in time to prepare dinner, pack lunch, etc. we've somewhat gotten a routine down -- which we've realized is soon to completely change once baby girl joins the mix.
what have you been feeling?
physically - insomnia (still, but better!), crazy lower back and hip/pelvis joint pain and a lot of baby movement. baby is definitely not comfortable in there and is making it known. sometimes it really feels like there's an alien trying to escape my body because she pushes out so hard! i've also had lingering cold symptoms for the last 2 weeks (stuffy nose, sore/scratchy throat, malaise..) and it hasn't been fun. today was the worst of it but I think we rode out the storm -- i see the light! hopefully will be all good before baby comes on monday - eep!
emotionally - I've been feeling a mix of so many things! excited, nervous, anxious! but this past week i've been feeling really sentimental with a little, tiny, miniscule ounce of sad. i've been really soaking up every day and moment with asher this week. I've really, really, really been loving our time together and been enjoying and treasuring everything about him (even the hard stuff!) he has been taking terribly short naps these days (less than 1 hour, usually only 30-40 mins) and before it would drive me a little crazy. but this week it made me happy because that meant I could spend more time with him! I've pushed his bedtime back almost a full hour everyday and he's been spoiled with really long bath times this week - like 30/40 mins long! (his fave, and my-usually-rushed-hurry-up-and-get-out-so-you-can-go-to-bed-and-I-can-rest-and-get-chores-done task) which makes for really pruny toes but also really long and fun bonding sessions of singing all his favorite songs with awesome acoustics (i've even taken my uke in there a few times and we've jammed out on all his faves including 'twinkle twinkle little star', 'wheels on the bus', 'mary had a little lamb' etc...lol!)
thoughts
it's been a really eye-opening week for me because I realized that this week has shown me how sweet all the little mundane things are. those everyday moments that often get overlooked are such precious moments that we are so blessed to have if we just take a moment to appreciate them! having this "last week" with just asher has helped me to not stress so much about getting things done but just really be present and it has made such a profound difference in my ability to have joy and a heart of gratitude throughout the day. I realized that a lot of times, I get distracted by all the things I have to do (clean up, make dinner, etc) that I fail to just get down on my hands and knees and just enjoy him at this age right now!
on another note: this morning, I had to make an urgent phone call and asher had a complete meltdown because I wasn't paying attention to him. he cried because I wasn't listening to what he was saying and he wanted me to hold him and then he wanted to eat a snack, and then he wanted a different snack from what I handed him and then he wanted me to give him something from another room but i couldn't make out what he was asking me for. I had trouble hearing the person on the other line and was trying to bounce back and forth from paying attention to my phone call and asking asher to be patient and "wait for mommy" and "mommy will help you in a minute" to try to prevent this inevitable meltdown - which failed if you were wondering haha. it flustered me and stressed me out - and i realized how that was a glimpse of what life is going to be like for us in a week or so! it gave me an opportunity to pray and prepare my heart for what's to come - and also to really ask God to help me to not have a grumbling spirit and wish the newborn season were to pass quickly so that we can just "get over it". i really want to enjoy every day and week and stage with baby the way I was able to with asher - so this frantic phone call chaos gave me an opportunity to do just that. twas cray cray - but felt so grateful!
questions
there have been a lot of questions running through my mind that I want to ask myself in a few weeks or so. a lot of things I've been wondering and pondering and curious to see what future me will think and say. I decided to write it down here so that I can look back and answer it once the dust settles (don't judge because a lot of these are silly and some of them are downright crazy-sounding but these are the honest things I wonder and ask myself, probably everyday):
- will I love baby as much as I love asher?
- will I love asher less because of the baby?
- is it true that my heart/love doubles? when does that happen? at birth or later?
- is it as cray cray as people say it is? or as I feel like it will be?
- how do I go grocery shopping?! or do anything outside of the house by myself?
- who do I put in the car/carseat first? who do I take out first?
- will I have time to do laundry? or cook? (i completely failed at meal prep btw. oops)
- how do I pack my diaper bag with two-kids worth of stuff (i.e. two diff sized diapers)? and omg how many wipes do I have to take for both babies..lol
- how will breastfeeding be different this time around? do I even remember how to do this?
- will the baby be used to sound and loud noises (asher was!) or will she be super sensitive?
- will she take the bottle? (asher never did..)
- how will our family dynamic change after baby girl is here?
- will my recovery be similar to last time or will it be harder this time around?
- how will I guard my time with the Lord in my personal devotions?
- will my brain feel fried?
- will I eat a lot of sushi after she's born? (I really crave spicy tuna..)
- will it be/feel different having a girl this time around?
i know i'm crazy.
to-do's
so in my last pregnancy post, I posted a list of things I wanted to do during the last month before baby girl comes. here is an update on my progress.
- I want to get my life somewhat settled before she comes: finishing unpacking, get a deep cleaning of our apartment, get an oil change/car wash
I got an oil change and car wash and probably unpacked 2-3 more boxes. and vacuumed (no way did I deep clean, HA! how funny I am.) I also did like 7 loads of laundry in the last 10 days so....
- MEAL PREP. this past week I wrote out a plan of 10 meals I want to make and freeze before baby comes. I'm hoping to finish it all in this next week or so (first, I need to clear my freezer!) I just ordered containers from dollar tree that will help me freeze meals that I can perfectly fit into my instapot and will hopefully write a post on that as well!
yeah, so I bought these really cool containers from the dollar store that are supposed to be freezer-safe and the round-frozen-and-slightly-thawed freezer meal is supposed to perfectly fit into the instapot (so convenient!) and my goal for almost every week for the last 3 weeks was to clear out our freezer so I could make these meals but that never happened. and so I never prepped these meals. so if anyone wants any of these perfect-for-instapot freezer tupperware containers for $1/each, holla at cho girl; lol...
- I desperately need to get a haircut. I usually cut/trim my own hair and get my hair professionally cut MAYBE once a year but I have been way overdue and this pregnancy has done all kinds of crazies to my hair - so hopefully I can get it done before she gets here. Maybe add a little color too (woot woot - mama gone wild)
Yay! I did it! I got a fresh cut and colored my hair for the first time (balayaaaged baby!)
- Go on as many one-on-one dates with Asher and spend time together as a family of 3.
I love family time! I am definitely so thankful for the time I've been able to spend with both Eugene and Asher this last month! we went to the zoo and had a lot of sweet family time together. Love my boys.
- Go to karaoke!!!!!! (though the last time I went I went a little too crazy and got legit contractions after dancing to one of my songs. LOL)
I wasn't able to go but maybe it's better because I'm pretty sure I would have gone into labor, lol. Eugene told me to take it easy so that I don't go into labor early before he finishes work - so I had to sacrifice. Maybe I'll go after the baby is here. They sell baby sound-protecting/eliminating earmuffs.
- Go on a date with Eugene!
someone graciously offered to take Asher for the evening on Sunday so we will party it up one last time the day before baby's arrival. Yay!
- Schedule all of our doctors appointments! We just got dental/vision health care again so we need to do that and we want to see our PCP's and meet baby girls' pediatrician before she comes (too ambitious?!)
We went a little crazy. we changed all of our doctors and got in a lot of appointments this past month. Asher went to the dentist (first time!). We got our eyes checked, and Eugene went to the dentist too! I also met baby girl's pediatrician, who will now also be Asher's ped too! Super busy but productive month!
- I should probably also pack my hospital bag. probably.
I did it! well, I threw everything inside a bag. but gonna try to organize tomorrow and hopefully post what's inside again!
last-minute to-do's?
tomorrow will be eugene's last day of work before his 'paternity leave' so I'm gonna try to wrap up a few small things (i.e. clean the bathrooms, organize the fridge/freezer, finishing packing up my hospital bag). and then do some last-minute cleaning and organizing (clean out and organize baby girl's room which is still serving as our storage room, organize the garage, finish unpacking our room, etc.) and then do some last minute stuff for the baby (move the bassinet into our room, install our infant carseat *sob*, buy some random things like infant vitamins, sterilize my bottles...maybe haha)
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also, random fun fact: with all of the natural disasters taking place and the rumors of a big earthquake coming to california later this year -- eugene has been on an emergency kit craze and it has been a mix of hilarious and super adorable. we are currently in the process of getting our backpack together and he bought so many cases of water over the weekend (LOL) so if yall have any suggestions on what to put in our bag, let us know! (i.e. do we have to pack underwear?)
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one more thing!
last year, the week of asher's due date I did a walk down memory lane post with a chronicle of my relationship with Eugene from friendship to dating to marriage to babyland. it was such a fun post for me to write and share so I thought i'd share it again here. THE TIME IS NIGH (once again!)
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until next time!
xoxo
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