I recently scored some used boardgames for about $1 a piece and I've been slowly building my game stash in preparation for future family game nights with our kids. since then, Asher has been wanting to play them nonstop (which has been loads of fun!) but today was a super long, tiring, emotionally draining, I-cant-wait-til-the-kids-go-down kind of day. Asher begged to play a couple of rounds of Zingo before going to bed and I half-begrudgingly obliged...
I looked at the clock, and it was already 40 minutes past their usual bedtime. Everything was delayed tonight - mostly because of how slow-going I was in getting their bedtime routine in motion. I was hoping to make it a quick game sesh and told him that we would be only playing TWO rounds, which he cheerfully agreed to. Before starting the game, you have to place each of the yellow picture word chips into this red contraption. To my relief, sharon-in-the-past so thoughtfully arranged all said yellow pieces inside so that future-sharon would be spared a few extra minutes of prep before the game (Yay, Sharon in the past! *high-five-to-self*) A couple of pieces had fallen out (4 to be exact), so I opened up the contraption to the put the 4 pieces inside so that we could begin the game.
Then, my beautiful, wonderful, thoughtful, kind, a tad bit overly excited and brilliant son turned the entire red contraption around and spilled ALL 72 yellow chips onto the mat, to which I let out an audible GASP and then a very-intentional-and-(if I'm being honest) immature GROAN.
"UGGGGGGGH ASHER. Why did you do that...... we didn't have to do that. We could have just put the four pieces in. WHY DID U DO THAT. SIGH SIGH SIGH HEAVY SIGH" (glance at the clock) "TELL ME, WHY. NOW WE CAN ONLY PLAY ONE GAME. WE HAVE NO TIME. SEE, NOW WE HAVE NO TIME."
(please understand, this is quite embarrassing for me to replay - and even moreso to pen down for all of the world to see this private and secret moment of sinfulness and immaturity on my part. but. just keeping it real..)
He just looked at me with a blank stare and a slight pout and said. "I'm sorry mommy.."
I asked him a couple more times why he did what he did. Mostly because I truly wanted to understand his thought process of why he thought he needed to do that, but then I remembered. He's 3. (LOL) So I explained that I understood that I knew that he was just excited but that next time, he didn't have to do that - to which, he cheerfully replied "OK! I won't do it again!"
As we were slowly putting all 72 to chips (haaaaa... still a teeny bit bitter) into the contraption, by God's grace and to His credit alone I was able to see this as an opportunity to talk to my sweet, innocent, beautiful 3 year old about something deeper.
"Mommy, sorry. Sorry! I won't do it again"
"It's okay Asher!
Even if you make a mistake or do something wrong,
mommy is always going to love you! Do you know that?"
"Yes"
"It's like God's love for us.
Sometimes we make mistakes, and do wrong things
and disobey but God still loves us and
forgives us if we ask Him to. Even if we sin..."
"Mommy! because Jesus died on the cross for our sins."
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#DEAD.
I literally froze and welled (is this the right grammar?) up in my eyes and heart and held him close and kissed his face 100 times. After the squeezes and hugs and giggles, I confessed my own sin to Asher.
(He was confused, lol.. I apologized and he replied with "sorry" LOL) I explained the sin of my frustration and how I had outwardly expressed it because I was tired and upset. I confessed to my lack of self control.
I can imagine how this will be harder to do when he is a teen who is looking at me smug with arms crossed, waiting in expectation while he stands chin-up self-righteous (I pray not...) but at the tender and sweet age of 3, it was easy and a good opportunity for me to practice what I hope to be a regular thing in our family: being able to humbly confess our sin to one another and ask for forgiveness, regardless of age, "hierarchy", maturity or circumstance. As I confessed my own sin and asked Him for forgiveness, it paved way to talk once again about the Savior that God, in His love for us, sent so that we could be reconciled to Him. The Savior who cleanses us from our sins so that we could have access to God. The One who secures our place, our standing, our hope.
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I am well-aware that at this point in time (Asher being 3), all he has are words and all he is (probably) able to do is regurgitate the things he hears. However, I truly believe that these are seeds. And, oh what beautiful seeds! These are not mere words but truth that is living and active and that has power to save. power to bring death to new life. power to cut through bone and marrow and judge the thoughts and intentions of hearts. (Hebrews 4:12) These are powerful, mighty, glorious seeds and what an absolute honor and privilege it is each day to be able to steward these young hearts and to be able to impart and plant these small but mighty seeds. There is much opportunity. This is a glorious task. May I have the eyes of faith to see and seize every opportunity to labor in the harvest of their hearts and trust by faith that He will do the growth.
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After the conversation, we played our two rounds of Zingo (he won both rounds..and I didn't even let him go easy lol) we read our books and went to bed. What started off as an overwhelming and chaotic day for a exacerbated hot mess of a mom (read: me)...God redeemed to remind me to see His hand, His purpose and His plan in the midst of the hustle bustle. In His love and care for me, He granted me an opportunity to pause (read: unexpected spilling of zingo chips) which led to a sweet and sovereignly orchestrated moment with my firstborn (read: sharing about sin, and Christ in the midst of putting said chips back in place) which ultimately has left me refreshed, renewed and re-energized for the task before me.
He truly is a good, good Father. What a glorious Savior.
To Him be the glory.
"For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit.." 1 Peter 3:18
Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:14-16)
