a tribute to the new year // valley of vision

O Lord,
Length of days does not profit me
except the days are passed in Thy presence,
in Thy service, to Thy glory.
Give me a grace that precedes, follows, guides,
sustains, sanctifies, aids every hour,
that I may not be one moment apart from Thee,
but may rely on Thy Spirit
to supply every thought,
speak in every word,
direct every step,
prosper every work,
build up every mote of faith,
and give me a desire
to show forth Thy praise,
testify Thy love,
advance Thy kingdom.

I launch my bark on the unknown waters of this year,
with Thee, O Father as my harbor,
Thee, O Son, at my helm,
Thee O Holy Spirit, filling my sails.
Guide me to heaven with my loins girt,
my lamp burning,
my ear open to Thy calls,
my heart full of love,
my soul free.

Give me Thy grace to sanctify me,
Thy comforts to cheer,
Thy wisdom to teach,
Thy right hand to guide,
Thy counsel to instruct,
Thy law to judge,
Thy presence to stabilize.
May Thy fear by my awe,
Thy triumphs my joy.

finals week + our growing love for spaggetti squash!

finals season is among us once again - which means that (God willing!) we will be halfway done with the hardest year of pharmacy school in just a few weeks! hooray! 

this year - we're learning the importance of making time for each other even when it's not easy! our opposite work schedules don't make it easy for us to see each other at home too often, but eugene has been so sweet in trying to study more at home so that we can at least be under the same roof! i've also been continuing to learn how to keep him pumped and motivated during his busy seasons. it's been hard at times, but we're learning to give thanks in all things. 

so for his 3rd year so far, i'm thankful for late night food runs (especially when we go get pho!), dunkin donuts only being 5 minutes away, a local starbucks drive thru, parks + rec (and the fun break even one episode provides!), spotify (!!!), fresh + easy being open 24/7, things/people to keep me busy while eugene's away (i.e. watercolor and calligraphy as of late, preparing for india!!, and sweet coffee dates with friends).

finals season is among us so prepping colorful, fun and nutritious food is vital. 

because I'll be gone for work for the next 3 days, i had to do most/all of my meal prepping today (it's pretty hard to make food after 12 hours of work!) the stars of our show today are...

- chili + cilantro marinade chicken thighs, rice, corn + bean + avo salsa and steamed broccoli

- spagetti squash, lemon/garlic roasted chicken and a broiled vegetable medley

we also picked up 6 salads from our local fresh + easy and lots of yogurt and juice.

speaking of spagetti squash though - have you guys ever tried it? 

eugene + I were so weirded out by it the first time but have grown to love it so much in the last few weeks. it's super cheap and is a great noodle/rice substitute for your meals if you're looking to cut down on your carbs. the taste is amazing too - it's the right amount of crispy and super creamy. they are generally less than $4/squash and will feed you for many meals. I scored this ginormous one at trader joes and separated it into 8 servings!

just cut in half. use a generous amount of oil (i used EVOO) or you can use some chicken stock if you're worried about the calories in the EVOO. sprinkle with salt and pepper. pop in oven at 375 degrees for 35-40 minutes.

scoop out the seeds + fork it through. 

beautiful, chewy + crunchy, creamy noodles. it's like culinary magic! and so much fun.

We just put it in all our meals. it's just that good!

ps. roasting/broiling is one of my favorite things to do nowadays. listening to these tomatoes explode in the oven has got to be one of my favorite things right now!

I'm a weirdo. I know.. Hehe :)

cheers to a victorious finals week!
xoxo

another year to give thanks

this year's thanksgiving was extra sweet. 

we all happened to have the day off so after many, many years of planning and dreaming - we were able to finally cook our first real thanksgiving dinner (sorta!) we didn't want to be too ambitious so we bought the pre-cooked turkey and ham and focused all our time + energy on the sides. it was amazing. we prepared 11 different side dishes and single-handedly picked our favorite recipes from our favorite cook books and websites. 

it was a true thanksgiving feast!

we spent the whole day together - prepping, cooking, washing dishes and watching football. 

it was truly a feast for our tummies and our hearts. my heart was so full after this day.

we ended the night with a homemade lattice crust pie + talenti gelato - it was amazing! 

the holiday season always provides me the opportunity to reflect on the many blessings in my life and prompts me to get back in the daily practice of giving thanks! this year, I'm learning more and more what it means to have a joy and gratitude that is unwavering and unhindered by changing circumstances. i'm learning that this kind of joy and gratitude is only possible when rooted in the unwavering truth of who God is in His sovereignty over all of life, and in His divine love for us demonstrated most perfectly in Jesus. 

to be honest- this has been a year of complaining for me. 

isn't it funny how we're so good at finding things we're discontent about?

- I miss living in the OC

- I wish I lived closer to church/work/friends

- I wish my legs were longer

- I wish I could spend more time with eugene

- I wish he wasn't so busy - when will this year end! 

- I wish I could spend more time with my friends

- our apartment is so dinky and ghetto!

- downey is ghetto!

- i'm all alone, woe is me

wah wah wah

    .  . etc, etc, etc. 

i'm so ungrateful!

i'm praying that God would cultivate in me a heart that is always abounding in gratefulness - that I would be able to see all of life through the lens of God's love and sovereignty in all things - and that this would empower me to be quick to give thanks for the many evidences of His grace in my life.

so in honor of that - here are a few things i'm grateful for this year!

1. trader joes. the cheap produce, the variety of high-quality/organic produce and goodies!

2.  daily reminders + our small little apartment finally starting to feel like "home" (after 1.5 years!)

3. my new found love for watercolor and calligraphy and the joy and delight it brings me. therapy to my soul :) 

4. the extra time and energy I have to be able to spend with the college students at church. they are a tremendous source of encouragement and joy for me and i'm so thankful that i have the time, energy, flexibility and stamina to keep up with these young bloodz this year.

5. my parents - both the lee + tseng clan. 

i hope to never take for granted what a blessing it is that i have such loving, supportive (and silly!) parents and how through our marriage - our two families have also become one. 

6. time alone - being a closet introvert, i secretly really enjoy my alone time. sometimes it gets lonely living farther away from friends and community - but i know that there is a season for all things so i'm learning to enjoy my time alone while i can! 

7. opportunities to teach! 

teaching has actually grown to be one of my passions and i've been so thankful for the many opportunities i've had to pursue this at work. i've loved being a preceptor for these last few years and i've also started guest lecturing for a local nursing program. i've already lectured once for their pharmacology class this year (hence, the nerdy study guide i made for the students!) and i'm excited for the opportunity to teach about my favorite subject in the whole world in januray (--stroke care!) this will be my 5th time lecturing -- so crazy!

8. lattes - this season of my life will forever be marked by a big, big love for lattes and coffee shops. i usually take any opportunity i have to meet people in said cute coffee shops so that I can get ginormous cups of latte (and of course my drink has to be in a mug!)

9. eugene - i can't really imagine a season in my life that i'll not be thankful for my sweet husband. this year has been hard in many ways - but we're learning a lot of important things together: communicating well, sacrificing things to spend time together and making our marriage a priority. but all in all - God has really deepened our love for each other and helped us to see that our marriage must always be rooted in Christ first. it's been a crazy ride but it's been fun and wonderful.

cheers to another year of giving thanks! 

xoxo

{recipe) superfood energy power balls

Have you guys ever heard of power balls before?

No  - not the lotto ticket kind. The edible kind. The chewy, delicious, bite-sized treat packed with amazing superfoods. It's kind of a big deal (to me). The idea of having a ready-to-go, small + bite-sized, fiber-filled, sweet + savory snack sounds like something I really need in my life right now. In this season of life - Eugene and I are a grab-and-go couple. We rarely, rarely eat a hot meal at home and we are constantly on the go. Most of the things I prepare at home immediately go into tupperware containers so that its easy to grab whatever is handy on our way out the door. If you can imagine - living 5 minutes away from Costco provides a huge temptation for me to stock up on granola bars and little snack bags that I can have handy with little to no prep time. However, I've found that most of these are packed with processed sugars, saturated fats and ingredients with really long, unfamiliar names. No bueno.

This is where "fail to plan or plan to fail" comes in.

I realized that if I'm not prepared with good, whole-food snacks on hand, we would probably eat snicker bars and rice krispies all day err' day (not that those are completely bad- they are actually quite delicious...but just not that good for you). Because Eugene is in a season in his life right now where sleep is lacking and the demand for his energy is high - I need to make sure to be filling him with good, healthy food.  For the last few months I have been searching high and low for better-for-you snack recipes. These powerballs are perfect. I could't find a recipe that I liked online so I just made my own. I was able to incorporate all of our favorite "superfoods" and it came out just the way we hoped they would: soft, chewy, not-too-sweet and satisfying. Eugene actually had to poo shortly after eating a few samples. Hoooray!! Mission complete. har har harr :) 

So here we go!

We need to start with the chewies. I used medjool dates. I'd forgotten how much I love, love, love dates. Reminds me of my grandma. (lol!) You can use raisins, craisins or whatever floats your boat but I think dates will do the best job! 

Make sure to pit those guys or your food processor will not be happy with you. 

Put your pitted dates in a bowl and add your nuts. Any kind will do. I chose almonds, walnuts and sunflower seeds. They're my faves. Next time, I will add cashews :) 

Coconut flakes join the party. 

I was too lazy to get out my food processor out, so I had to depend on Mr. Nutribullet.

We had to take a few breaks (it over-heated a few times) but after a few tap-taps, it did a fine job. :) You can choose to keep it a bit chunky but you want it to be soft and mushy (that's the key!!!)

Add it back into your bowl and add some chia seeds, flax seeds and hemp seeds. (All amazing superfoods that are so yummy and good for you.) I decided to add a few teaspoons of coconut oil but you can opt out of that if its not your thang. Or you can add almond butter. or a few dashes of cinnamon. Go crazy. 

Mix it well with your hand. (I used a glove because of the coconut oil) Make sure is mixed well and evenly. As much as I love chia seeds, a big bite of just chia seeds is not my fave. Once it's mixed well - start rolling into bite-sized pieces. 

Once they're all rolled up - you can choose to crust them in more ground flaxseed meal. The coconut oil I added made a big mess, but it really helped hold the flaxseed into a nice crust. 

Just roll em with one hand. Don't stress yourself out. I actually checked emails with my left hand while doing this. Multitasking at its finest. :)

Once you're done, lay em all out on a flat surface (not touching) on a sheet of wax/parchment paper or the like. Cover it and keep it in the fridge for an hour or so to make sure the mold stays together. Of course we ate like 5 because we had to make sure they weren't poisonus! 

They were delish! We are planning to eat one in the morning and one after workouts. This is packed with fiber, will help keep you full, give you a burst of energy (go, superfoods!) and curb your morning donut cravings. 

Hopefully.

I guess we'll see about that since I'm doing a Dunkin' Donuts run for my co-workers tomorrow :) 

Wish me luck! 

Superfood Energy Powerball Recipe

Recipe Adapted from Deliciously Ella 

Makes about 25-30 balls

1 cup of Medjool dates, pitted

3/4 cup of almods

3/4 cup of your favorite nuts (cashew, walnuts, pecans, sunflower seeds)

1/2 cup of coconut flakes

1/3 cup of group flax seed meal

1/2 cup of hemp seeds

1/2 cup of chia seeds

2 tsp of coconut oil or almond butter (optional)

Place pitted dates in a medium bowl. Add nuts and coconut flakes. Grind ingredients in a food processor until all the large pieces are ground up and mixture is soft. Place back in medium-sized bowl and add chia seeds, ground flax seed meal and hemp seeds. Add coconut oil or almond butter (optional). Mix well by hand until all seeds are evenly spread out. Roll into bite-sized balls and lay on parchment paper or the like on a flat surface. Cover and refridgerate for at least 1-2 hours. Place in a zip-lock bag or air-tight container. 

Enjoy!
xoxo

lessons learned from 3 years of marriage

Last week, Eugene and I celebrated our 3 years of marriage. (over sushi, of course!)

3 years is not a long time - but I can truly say that these last 3 years have been the best years of my life. We've learned a lot, grown a lot together, experienced a lot of life together as one. it has been really so wonderful - but let be honest...it has also been hard. really, really hard. and lonely (at times).  we've struggled. we've fought. we've had to learn hard things together. We've learned that marriage is really about enduring through the many facets of life together -  persevering as one.

In these last few years, God has taught me a lot of things. He has deepened my understanding of His perfect love for me and I'm constantly learning that only Jesus is sufficient to fill the deepest longings and desires of my heart. I've learned that the story of our marriage will always be painted with layers and layers of grace. We're clinging to Jesus' perfect example of unconditional, self-dying love for us every single day - and His love for us is truly the only thing that can compel us to love one another the way we have been called to as husband and wife.

Our marriage is not perfect (despite what all the filters social media can place to make it look that way). We are both selfish and sinful and make mistakes every single day.. but God is faithful and He is good and we know that He is the foundation that will help us stand together as one - til death do us part! In my short, but sweet 3 years - God has taught me some very important things. much of what I've learned has been from really great books about marriage/being a wife (* * * *), my own personal experience and the wise counsel of wives who are older and more seasoned than me.

I'm excited to share these little nuggets with you today in honor of our 3-years of growing, long-suffering, persevering, enduring, and always-learning marriage:

 My marriage does NOT cause me to be more sinful.

Everyone told me that marriage would be hard - especially the first few months of marriage. I was resolved to have the perfect marriage and be the perfect wife despite the odds, statistics and testimonies of my fellow wife friends.

However- shortly after we got back from our honeymoon, I was surprised to see how many of eugene's mannerisms/habits frustrated me (talk about culture shock! and short lived resolutions...) I found myself growing more impatient, less gracious and definitely more sensitive. I cried over really dumb things. like when he didn't notice that I had dusted the floor on all fours for 2-hours. or when he didn't immediately gobble up this new, adventurous persian chicken-and-rice dish that I tried making for the first time (it really was kindova fail on my part, tbh!)
 
A few months into our marriage, I asked Eugene if he saw any obvious sins in my life. He told me that I actually had "a bit of a temper". What? Who? ME?!  No way. 

I immediately placed blame on Eugene and accused him and my marriage for making me more sinful. I never had a temper before I got married! Foolish me. Unbeknownst to me - my sister (who was living with us at the time) sheepishly mentioned that I always had a bit of a temper. gah, what? wait...are you serious? I realized that my marriage didn't cause me to sin more but that it actually revealed sin that was already in my heart.
In tim keller's book, 'the meaning of marriage'  he says -- "marriage shows you a realistic, unflattering picture of who you are and then takes you by the scruff of the neck and forces you to pay attention to it." I learned that I had to stop blaming eugene/my marriage for my sin. I needed to see that this was God's sovereign and loving way of revealing to me the depths of my sin, so that I could seek forgiveness and pursue righteousness in the way I've been called to do.

  I have been tailor-made to be my husband's helper.
In the bible, we learn that woman was created for man and that wives are to be their husbands' helper. It's neat to think that when God created me - that He created me with Eugene in mind: each unique personality trait, strength, weakness, habit, life experience, etc was single-handedly orchestrated by my Creator with my husband in mind. I always tell Eugene that I was tailor-made for him. :) The longer we are married, the more I am convinced this to be true!  I know that as Eugene's wife, I am called to be his helper, partner, greatest supporter in this life. I see how the different things God has brought me through have prepared me to uniquely help Eugene in each season of his/our life. I really praise God for that.

"Fail to plan, plan to fail." Winston Churchill
Something I've learned in college is that we will never not be busy. There will always be something to take our time, energy and attention. there will never be a "good time" to do anything. We just have to learn to get it done with whatever circumstances/responsibilities we have. To be honest, when we first got married - I struggled so much to feed my husband. (poor Eugene!) I would do really good for the first few days (and waste a lot of food) and then go on a 4-5 day streak of not going near my kitchen at all. I was working night shift at the time, and i honestly just lost track of the days. oh crap, its Thursday already? Eugene..what did you eat since Monday? lol. it was chaos. I realized that in order to be faithful in fulfilling all my responsibilities at home (cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc) whilst working full time - I have to be prepared. I have to have a plan! Hence, came my intense meal prepping days and planning out recipes that can stretch for the back-to-back work days that I'm physically unable to prepare meals. I definitely don't do this perfectly, and still have a long way to go - but I'm better than I was 3 years ago, that's for sure!

 

 

 "A place for everything, and everything in its place." Charles A Goodrich
I have no pictures for this section yet because I am still struggling to make this into a daily practice. A really great piece of advice I learned about keeping a decent home is to make sure that you make a place for everything. you tend to put things away better if there is a designated place for it. To be honest, most days our place is a big. hot. mess. Eugene loves leaving all his school notes, important paperwork, work clothes, pj's and work schedule laid out everywhere. It drives me crazy but it helps him feel like he has control of where everything is. and that's coo. (for now!) Someday- I hope to have an organized system where I can leave things in specific places and label everything and have designated boxes for the thousand pieces of things we have currently laying in our apartment.  (p.s the picture below is an overly-excited photo I took of us when I first got my go-pro. Eugene didn't want me to post it because of how crazy our apartment looked..but its okay honey, it's real life!)

  it's not 50-50.
Growing up - you learn that relationships should be 50-50.  We live in a day and age when we teach and preach the "meet-me-halfway", "you-scratch-my-back-i'll-scratch-yours" mentality. A lot of people have told me to designate specific house chores for Eugene as to not make it a habit in our home for the woman to do everything. Lovingly, a lot of my friends have urged me to ask Eugene to do the dishes, if i do the cooking; to do the folding, if I put the clothes in the wash. Honestly, I think that would be pretty awesome! However - if that was the principle on which we built our marriage, I would be smad (sad+mad) and frustrated and disappointed all the time. 

In the bible, we are exhorted to "outdo one another in showing honor" (romans 12:10). I think marriage is most beautiful when we don't measure, record and calculate all of the things the other person did/didn't do - but rather, desire to love and serve one another wholeheartedly, 100% and unconditionally. 100-100, not 50-50. I'm seeing that when I serve Eugene and desire to love Eugene in this way - it brings me greater joy and delight than only doing as much as I feel like he deserves. It's definitely not easy to do it this way - but I really believe and trust that this is what honors God more: to desire to "outdo" one another in loving, serving and honoring the other.  It's definitely a work in progress (I'm naturally so selfish and self-seeking!) but I'm learning and growing each day!
 

 enjoy everything. every day. in every season.
This season of our marriage has been a tough one. This is the hardest year in pharmacy school for eugene and he has been completely swamped with school, work, clubs, etc. Our time together is really limited and even when we are together - he usually has to spend all of his time studying. There are days that I really struggle to be thankful for this season. sometimes, I really can't wait for him to be done with school so that we can have dinner together every day or at least go to bed together every night. However, God is teaching me that there will always be reason for discontent in every season. The key is to find contentment in each and every season of our lives, knowing and trusting that God has purpose in every single thing. every hard circumstance, inconvenience, discouragement, failure -- is carefully orchestrated into our lives by our Infinitely Good, Wise, and Sovereign Creator. 

Therefore, in this season - i'm learning to delight in my days alone. in the opportunities I have to spend with other people. in finding fun and creative ways to make eugene smile. and in these little 5am coffee runs we do for each other that currently serves as our greatest expression of love.  This season will pass, and we will soon enter another. I'm learning to enjoy everything about every day and to trust in God's perfect will for each detail of our lives.
  

reality check: you don't stay married because you love each other.
Growing up, I never thought that there would be a day that I would not love my husband. You dream of all these fantasy fairytale stories of falling in love and riding off into the sunset with your prince and being in love forever. I always thought that once you get married, there is an everlasting cloud of lovey dovey, happy cheery, warm and gooey love that wraps its pretty little arms around you for the rest of your life. Woah - talk about reality check.

To be honest with you - there have been days when I really struggled to love my husband.  this is not to say that Eugene isn't wonderful. he is! but he is not wonderful every second, every day of his life. There are times when I am frustrated and disappointed. there are days when he fails to love me in the way that I desire or when there are other things that take his time/attention/energy and he is unable to be there for me. there are days when he is so tired that he doesn't ask me about my day. there are days when he feels distant. or different. There have been days when I humanly could not muster up any feelings of love for my husband. if you can imagine -this really scared me at first! This did not align with the picture-perfect love story that I had once imagined.

However - I've learned in these last 3 years that our marriage is a covenant. a promise and vow made not merely between Eugene and I, but between us and God. We vowed to love one another, to serve and honor one another til death do us part. for better or for worse. We promised that to each other - but most importantly we made that promise to God. As Christians, we know that marriage is a covenant and it is meant to reflect Christ's love for His bride -the church. Likewise, we are called to practice this selfless, self-giving, wholehearted, unconditional love with one another, but most importantly in the context of marriage. God has been teaching me that I have to choose everyday to love my husband. We don't love because, but we love despite. I learn the depths of Christ's love for me as I pursue this love: that despite our sin and rebellion against Him - He loved us; despite the fact that we did not choose Him, he pursued us. and despite our constant failures to obey and fight against temptation - He intercedes for us, forgives us and shows grace to us.

It really is only the love of Christ that can compel us to love in this way.
We love, because He loved us... and I'm learning that this is the same in marriage. I choose to love Eugene every day despite whatever reason I have to not love him. We don't stay married because we love each other. We strive to love each other to the best of our ability because we are married. and we are bound, together- for life! We are bound to this sweet, covenant, long-suffering, ever-persevering love - strengthened by His grace and empowered by His perfect example of love towards us. It isn't easy - but it's what we vowed to do.


Though it's only been three years, it's been quite a journey.
I truly believe that it is God's grace that brought us this far.

It is sweet.
and it is good.

His grace will bring us to the end.

and there's no one else I'd be on this crazy ride with than you.

xoxo,

happy 3 years. :)

enjoy every season // thankful thursdays

things have been busy (and hard, at times!) with eugene being really busy at school - but i'm trying to learn to give thanks in every day things! here are a few things i've been thankful for as of late.

21. many opportunities to spend time with sisters (of all life stages). i've been particularly grateful for the times I have spent with older sisters who are more experienced and wiser than me. I've benefited so much from learning from their example. so thankful & blessed (love ya, joan!) eugene and I have been super into cheese platters lately, too! yum.

22. my sweet wives small group, our monthly accountability meet-ups and huge mugs of lattes. 

23. my parents. 

we celebrated their 26 years of marriage this past week and i've been so thankful for how much time i'm able to spend with them in this season of my life. their marriage has gone through smooth and rocky times - and they've taught me over all these years that the marriage is hard, but always perseveres when Christ is central. 

24. a dunkin donuts opened up a few weeks ago 5 minutes from our place. it's truly the best and worst thing ever. they have a 24-hour drive thru and the most delicious coffee. to be honest - i haven't gone to starbucks since tasting their french vanilla lattes. i'm hooked! 

25. one of my favorite things about visiting hospice patients from far away is getting to eat at my favorite places that I usually can't frequent. in this case, my patient cancelled on me which freed my afternoon for this hot meal. my drive was well worth it. 

26. i've been really into watercolors and calligraphy things. i'm still an uber newb but it has been very fun and therapeutic for me. sometimes i wish I could just sit in the middle of a jazz cafe with a large latte on hand and some fresh ink and paint. 

27. one benefit of living in downey (and in la county) is being able to visit my parents more frequently. because I have so many patients in la, i can usually stop by for lunch. even though my lunch hour is short - this warm meal and catch up sessions with my mama is worth the 1.5 hour detour in crazy la traffic. 

28. even though eugene and I can't spend that much time together - we've been getting creative. we send pictures to each other throughout the day of things we're doing, things we're eating, people we're with; our love is also expressed through post-it notes and coffee runs. 

29. i love, love, love pork. so this place is just...pure perfection on a table.
however - what i'm more thankful for is my sweet 6-o clock accountability girls. peggy, hannah and I have been texting each other (almost!) every morning for the last 4 months to help each other wake up (though we've struggling to do these past few weeks!) and spend time daily in our bibles and in prayer. it has been a tremendous blessing for me. our monthly meet-ups are always a highlight of each month. so thankful that God knows our need and provides us with more abundantly than we could ever ask!

cheers to giving thanks!

xoxo

{out + about} lavender and honey

today I visited the cutest little cafe in pasadena. 

lavender & honey espresso is found in a rustic little corner. the decor is simple but so sweet. 

this cafe had all of my favorite things - succulents, chalkboards, calligraphy, and ampersand signs. 

I absolutely loved everything about this place - wish I lived closer! 

they sell an assortment of drinks and sandwiches, too! 

they had lights strung on strings which made for an amazing reflection on the countertops. 

the lavender latte is the best. it's my new fave drink!

thankfully, there's a place in costa mesa that sells killer lavender lattes, too! 

my favorite part was my sweet little coffee date. 

coffee dates are always better when good talks and laughs are involved :)

Lavender & Honey Espresso 

1383 East Washington Blvd.
Pasadena, CA 91104

www.lavenderandhoneyespresso.com