here we are, you guys! the 9 month mark.
(well, technically it is closer to 10 at the time of my posting this.)
WE MADE IT, FAM.
WE MADE IT, FAM.
baby girl has officially been outside of me for the same time she was baking inside. how surreal! these 9.5 months have gone so, so fast and she is growing so much (though not in weight - she is a petite one! less than 4th percentile in weight..)
As I had expected, I've been pretty terrible at posting and taking pictures and what not - so for the sake of catching up, I thought I'd recap her 9 months of life and our transition as a family of 4 by answering a set of questions! (A long set, sorry!) These questions are actually FAQs but also questions that I had for myself before baby came. I actually wrote a blog post 2 days before baby came (she was born 2 days before my scheduled c-section), and listed these questions out for me to revisit after baby was here. I thought it'd be a fun way to recap and record (for myself) now that 9 months have gone by, so here it is!
fyi - i've consolidated/reorganized some of the questions for the sake of simplifying!
will I eat a lot of sushi after she's born? (I really crave spicy tuna..)
I don't think I eat sushi too often, but I definitely have appreciated my sushi more this time around haha. my sweet friend kat postmated us sushi (and soo much spicy tuna) shortly after we came home from the hospital and i was so excited i literally peed in my pants (lol, true story. and tmi sorry.) thanks kat!!
will my recovery be similar to last time or will it be harder this time around?
so i was expecting to have a c/s again but ended up having a VBAC so it was a completely different recovery. and IMO, this recover was harder than C/S! that postpartum stress incontience is real yo. (sorry, TMI again hehe.)
how will breastfeeding be different this time around? do I even remember how to do this?
surprisingly, it still hurt the same but the pain went away earlier than the first time. thankfully, avery latched really well and didnt' have problems but she became a snacker (eating smaller feeds rather than being able to take full feeds) because many of her early feeds were interrupted by big brother (either bc he needed me to do something or get something for him, or he had to be disciplined or re-directed in some way...) poor baby. so my supply this time around was way way less than the first time!
will she take the bottle? (asher never did..)
it took some training but we started early this time (at 2 weeks with avery! with asher, we didnt try until like 2/3 months) and now she is a pro bottle drinker. initially she took it really well and we were so excited but stopped for a couple of weeks and then she refused it!! around that time, I had to go back to work (night shifts) and she wouldnt eat AT ALL with eugene while i was gone. so she essentially went 13-14 hours without ANYTHING when she was about 2 months old... it was so stressful! and so so sad. so after that we had to retrain her and we still offer her a bottle every night to keep her used to the bottle. I am also SO thankful for formula. we didnt use it at all with asher because he NEVER took the bottle but I am so, so thankful for the blessing that we have to supplement with formula! (esp because of her low weight and everything!)
p.s. even the the whole not-taking-the-bottle-while-i-was-gone-for-work phase was so stressful and hard, there was good that came out of it! she kiiiinda, sorta night weaned herself at 2 months. (OOPS. lol) she initially woke every 2 hours to eat (becuase she was a snacker. *sob*) but after that little debacle, she woke up every 5 hours. PTL!!!!
will the baby be used to sound and loud noises (asher was!) or will she be super sensitive?
thanks to big bro, she can sleep thru anything! though we did keep her outside in the living room with us for most naps early on so that she would get used to it. so asher would sing and shout and dance around her like a ceremonial sacrafice and she woke up the first 10 times or so but now she is used to most sounds! thank you, asher!!!
will I love baby as much as I love asher?I totally do! It definitely took a while, and wasn't as immediate as it was with asher. but I definitely love her the same. I didn't think it would be possible, but it's true when they say your heart and capacity to love really doubles. but i can definitely say I love them differently - not sure if its because shes a girl or if its because shes my second.
will I love asher less because of the baby?
I didn't think this was possible, but I actually love him more! seeing him grow into his role as a big brother has been so, so heart-warming and I just love and adore him more because of it. also, he is the BEST helper and sweetest brother ever. he always offers to throw away baby's diapers and wants to put her pacifier in her mouth for her (even though it fell on the ground outside..and before i had a chance to clean it...) but it's cool. he's the best!
I didn't think this was possible, but I actually love him more! seeing him grow into his role as a big brother has been so, so heart-warming and I just love and adore him more because of it. also, he is the BEST helper and sweetest brother ever. he always offers to throw away baby's diapers and wants to put her pacifier in her mouth for her (even though it fell on the ground outside..and before i had a chance to clean it...) but it's cool. he's the best!
is it [life with two] as cray cray as people say it is? or as I feel like it will be?
YES and no. It is cray cray - especially the beginning when you feel like a complete hot mess and you are 40 minutes late to everything. but i realized that overtime i became a lot more laidback and chill about things that don't really matter (like, "oh shoot i havent changed their diaper in 10 hours. but well, at least they didnt poop" or "oh man, i ran out of wipes and im not going home for another 4 hours...okay, well i guess i will just wet these paper towels...") you get the picture haha. it's crazy and it's so hard to get yourself to go out and do things when you have two unpredictable, dependent creatures on my own but eventually you get used to it! and now it's our new normal and i love it! (though i do appreciate solo trips to the grocery store...it's a treat and and a luxury!)
YES and no. It is cray cray - especially the beginning when you feel like a complete hot mess and you are 40 minutes late to everything. but i realized that overtime i became a lot more laidback and chill about things that don't really matter (like, "oh shoot i havent changed their diaper in 10 hours. but well, at least they didnt poop" or "oh man, i ran out of wipes and im not going home for another 4 hours...okay, well i guess i will just wet these paper towels...") you get the picture haha. it's crazy and it's so hard to get yourself to go out and do things when you have two unpredictable, dependent creatures on my own but eventually you get used to it! and now it's our new normal and i love it! (though i do appreciate solo trips to the grocery store...it's a treat and and a luxury!)
will my brain feel fried?
more than "fried", I think I more often feel scatterbrained...?
more than "fried", I think I more often feel scatterbrained...?
like i'm thinking of 1,000 things at once and realizing i was supposed to do this or that, or that i was supposed to email this person about that one thing and omg what am I gonna make for dinner i don't have any groceries, where did i leave my keys? omg they're still inside the car, please please please dont be locked. dang it did my milk expire yesterday? aw man i left the ice cream out overnight. omg avery is eating something whats the in her mouth? wait, im meeting someone for lunch tomorrow i forgot who it is. okay wheres my car, i dont remember where i parked my car. oh em gee the rent was due 4 days ago. omg omg omg where's asher? ASHER ASHER LISTEN TO MOMMY. i need coffee.
yep. kinda like that.
how do I go grocery shopping?! or do anything outside of the house by myself?
I initially ordered a lot of groceries online - just because I was so nervous about timing the outings right with naps and feeling anxious about wrangling both of them in the cart and taking them in and out of the carseats (my least favorite thing...) but now that she can sit up in the cart it's so much more fun!
I initially ordered a lot of groceries online - just because I was so nervous about timing the outings right with naps and feeling anxious about wrangling both of them in the cart and taking them in and out of the carseats (my least favorite thing...) but now that she can sit up in the cart it's so much more fun!
who do I put in the car/carseat first? who do I take out first?
i realize that this depends on if avery is still in the infant car seat/stroller - but our typical routine is i plop asher in the front driver seat (without the car on/keys in the ignition) and close the door so that he can just play inside (because otherwise he runs around the parking lot like a crazy person). then i put avery in. then i have asher climb from the front to his seat (which is literally his favorite thing to do) and then i buckle him in!
I almost always use the stroller when im out - so in terms of taking them out, i will set up the stroller and then just put one of them in at a time (doesnt really matter the order, unless one of them is crying!)
- will I have time to do laundry? or cook? (i completely failed at meal prep btw. oops)
- will I have time to do laundry? or cook? (i completely failed at meal prep btw. oops)
I do, but i realize only during naps and at nights. still been a challenge to do any housework during the day while the kids are awake unless there is a magic moment when both of them are playing quietly together -- but during the day, most of the time at least one of them needs me so it's hard to get things done. Asher is at a really fun age where he loves engaging with me but it requires me to sit with him for almost the whole day - reading, talking, playing, creating, dancing, singing, etc. and avery is still nursing every 4 hours, and has been sick on and off for the last few months and wants to be held almost all day (like this past weekend..) but i'm trying to make it more of a priority to stay on top of my chores! especially as a way to love and serve eugene more tangibly!
but for now, when i just need a couple mins to myself (usually to pee or something!), this has been working pretty beautifully:
how do I pack my diaper bag with two-kids worth of stuff (i.e. two diff sized diapers)?
clearly based on my answer the to one of my previous questions, I have not figured it out yet haha. but i realize its not too bad! just 2ish diapers for each kid, a pack of wipes, two bibs, and one water bottle (most of the time, i just make them share..haha) and SNACKS IS A MUST (preferably one they can both eat..which is most things. baby girl has gotten to taste some of the goods way earlier than asher did when he was a baby! #PERKS) i haven't really been good about packing them extra clothes and am considering getting a bigger diaper bag. or maybe just using my northface backpack (#COOLMOM?)
how will our family dynamic change after baby girl is here?
our family definitely feels more full and complete now that she is here. initially i was so nervous about her coming and how she was gonna change up our family unit - but she has been such a sweet and fun addition to our little family.
will it be/feel different having a girl this time around?
we definitely love and treat her different because shes a girl. but its not too different. she is so girly (in how she cries and whines and her drama) and we love to dress her up with bows and dresses! but apart from that, at this age, its not too different.
our family definitely feels more full and complete now that she is here. initially i was so nervous about her coming and how she was gonna change up our family unit - but she has been such a sweet and fun addition to our little family.
will it be/feel different having a girl this time around?
we definitely love and treat her different because shes a girl. but its not too different. she is so girly (in how she cries and whines and her drama) and we love to dress her up with bows and dresses! but apart from that, at this age, its not too different.
how will I guard my time with the Lord in my personal devotions?
as i expected, this was definitely a challenge after adding another baby into the mix. especially since i've been struggling to figure out how to get housework and chores done after the kids go to bed. i found myself constantly putting seemingly more urgent things (like laundry and finishing the dishes or preparing the next day's meals) before my time in God's word and prayer -- and then days and sometimes weeks (eep!) would go by.
as i expected, this was definitely a challenge after adding another baby into the mix. especially since i've been struggling to figure out how to get housework and chores done after the kids go to bed. i found myself constantly putting seemingly more urgent things (like laundry and finishing the dishes or preparing the next day's meals) before my time in God's word and prayer -- and then days and sometimes weeks (eep!) would go by.
but something that i've been learning in this season is that there is really no excuse! i learned that time is not found but made. for things that are important and valuable and priority - we don't merely "find" time for it but we make time for it. We always make time for things that we want to do and things that are important to us. We switch our schedule around to make things work and no matter how busy or tired or crazy my day was - i always somehow find pockets of time to look at my phone to reply to messages, mindlessly browse through social media or watch mukbang videos (is anyone else obsessed with these? haha) so i decided to stop making excuses for myself and to really strive to guard my time with the Lord. it's definitely far from perfect and I am still figuring it out - but I'm seeing that there is nothing of greater importance than this!
on most days, I feel like a hot mess and my place looks like a hurricaine dump site. chores are often left unfinished and eugene has run out of clean underwear and socks on so many occasions that I just bought him a 12-pack of new socks last week lol. I felt a lot of guilt for not being able to figure out how to balance everything well, but I realize that I really have to fight to guard this time with God and make it a priority - for the sake of my kids and my husband. if i'm abiding in Christ and really fighting to stay spiritual sober and focused - it helps me to be a better mom and wife. i'm able to see with eyes of faith that my day-to-day tasks and mundane responsibilties have great purpose and are opportuntiies to worship. it helps me to do all things with greater joy and intentionality. when my eyes and heart is fixed on Christ and His example, it stirs me to really see each day as an opportunity to love and serve with the same heart.
my current "how": striving to seize any and every idle time i have to be in His word and to fill my mind with Him! i've been trying to listen to podcasts and sermons while I wash dishes or do chores around the house (Risen Motherhood is my current fave). I've tried to wake up before my kids but haven't been too succuessful so i''ve been trying to read and pray during nap times or after the kids go down (before I start any chores!). also, Eugene tries to give me a short break whenever he is home from work so that I can go out for a bit (he calls it "treat yo self" time - he's the best!), I try to use that time to go to starbucks to read and journal. COFFEE AND THE WORD, YALL. still the best combo ever.
definitely still trying to figure it out...so if anyone has any tips for me, please send them my way!
--
so, so thankful for these last 9 months of growing, learning, being stretched, being tired and looking like a hot mess (esp with my shiny unwashed hair and post-partum hair loss flyaways!)
I just want to be faithful during this season and really redeem and every opportunity I have in this life with my two littles to bring glory to Christ! praying that thru my feeble efforts, God will continue to work in my heart and through my life to magnify Him, to my kids, to my community and to those around me.
He is good!
xo
