a broken life

"One morning I was reading the story of Jesus' feeding of the five thousand. The disciples could find only five loaves of bread and two fishes. 'Let me have them,' said Jesus. He asked for all. He took them, said the blessing, and broke them before He gave them out. I remembered what a chapel speaker...had said: 'If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it is because pieces will feed a multitude, while a loaf will satisfy only a little lad.'"  

{elizabeth elliott / passion + purity}

A life broken for the the sake of others is the best and most beautiful kind of life to pursue!

{dear baby} 23 weeks!

dear baby,

happy 23 weeks! 

a few weeks ago, we passed our halfway mark. so amazing! I've been feeling pretty good these days -- work days are the tougher days and I usually fall asleep on the couch or on the floor and daddy has to wake me up to brush my teeth and take my contacts out. It's so silly! It's crazy how much energy it takes to make a little human. I've been taking a lot of naps these days and just trying to listen to my body when I need to sleep. Sometimes when I'm tired at work, I'll take 5-10 minutes to rest my eyes in a little storage closet. My coworkers have been so sweet in taking care of me. You have a lot of wonderful aunties and uncles there. 

a few weeks ago, I started feeling your little flutters. (feels just like gas bubbles - so weird!) this week your kicks have been feeling more prominent and sometimes I lie in bed just to feel you jump around. it's the most amazing thing. your kicks aren't strong enough for daddy to feel you yet, but he still keeps his hand on my belly while reading or watching tv, in case one day you decide to give him a good jab. I can't wait for him to be able to experience it too! 

I also have been having a lot of weird cravings. recently, it's been talenti ice cream (the ice cream is no surprise, but you specifically like the talenti brand), white toast with butter and small grape tomatoes. We've been trying to eat better these days for you - so we actually did spagetti squash this week. :) 

You hate being hungry (you give me really hard jabs when I skip a meal) but I don't think you like sharing space with a full stomach either (nausea for days!) so that means frequent small meals and snacks all the time.  I've been trying to do more reading, so it's been the perfect way to wind down with a midday snack.

It's so weird because even though we haven't really met you yet, we love you so much. We pray for you often and wonder what you're gonna be like and how you will change our lives. With every week and every inch the circumfrence of my belly grows, the reality that you will be here soon becomes more and more real. We thank God for you everyday and pray that you'll continue to grow healthy and strong. 

We love you so much, our sweet son! 

I'll eat some more ice cream today after work in your honor. Xoxo 

love always,

mama.