so the secret is out... WE ARE EXPECTING!
I haven't been able to blog since I've found out because I couldn't get through a post without wanting to shout our news to the mountain tops.
"so I had a snack yesterday and ate so many BABY carrots and I was EXPECTING to feel full after but.."
you get it. I just couldn't do it.
it has been a crazy few months but we are happy to finally be able to share our good news with all of our dear friends. I am officially in my 2nd trimester today (13 weeks!) and it's been a long journey getting here. We actually found out at 4 weeks via little pee test so it's been a long (and exhausting and nauseating but absolutely amazing) 8 weeks. we had been having trouble conceiving for almost 2 years and I was missing my menstrual cycles for months at a time. I was in the process of getting worked up for PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) and got officially diagnosed in April. My doctor had made a Plan A, B and C to help us get pregnant. We had a pretty long discussion about how it would be harder for me to get pregnant but that it wasn't impossible; that it may take more time and more intentionality, but that there was hope.
I had just done a routine ultrasound to help see how severely impacted my ovaries were and they had called me on a Wednesday to discuss my results.
"can you tell me anything over the phone"
"umm.. no. you should probably just come in".
The obscurity of the call made me jump to the irrational conclusion that I must either be pregnant or have cancer. I was taking a medication called Provera at the time to force my body to have periods monthly and was told this was not something you should take while pregnant. so I tried to be sneaky and use it to my advantage to get more information.
"so.....should I keep taking the provera?"
"absolutely yes. we'll see you next week."
omg.
cancer.
Eugene and I had a very long conversation that night about the brevity of life and the sovereignty of God. we prayed. and found peace entrusting everything into his hands. we prepared for a very long 6 days of waiting to hear the results.
two days later, I felt really sick and stayed in bed all day. fever, flu-like symptoms with a bit of a stuffy nose. I rolled out of bed to pee and grabbed one of our dollar store pregnancy tests on my way to the bathroom -- almost subconsciously-- as I've done the last 50 times i didn't feel well. I didn't even look at the test after doing it, assuming it was negative yet again! it wasn't until I came back to the bathroom to shower that I saw, in my peripheral vision the double lines for the first time ever. I immediately grabbed the legit pregnancy test box (the ones you find at CVS/Target and not the Dollar Store) and took about 4 more. + + +, double lines. "Pregnant" it said. We freaked out. Like. A LOT.
I called my doctors office the following Monday and got orders to get my blood drawn that day and again on Wednesday. On Wednesday afternoon, I went to the appointment that was originally meant to review my ultrasound results. They were waiting for the results to get faxed over so we were left to wait in the cold room by ourselves.
Here we are waiting -- feeling nervous and confused!
the blood work confirmed it - we were pregnant!!
we were over the moon, except Eugene said that he wouldn't be able to really believe it until he saw the ultrasound himself. nevertheless, it was Mother's Day that next Sunday and although I did absolutely nothing to deserve a Mother's Day celebration - he gifted me with a body pillow and my first mothers day card! (I love my husband!)
a little premature? maybe. but it was sweet and I was so happy!
two weeks later, we returned to the doctors office for our long-anticipated ultrasound. at this point we had thought we were at least 8 weeks based on my last menstrual cycle.
I had eaten a lot of raspberries and blueberries in those few weeks in honor of our raspberry/blueberry-sized fetus.
We found out that I had ovulated late and that I was measuring only at 6 weeks.. so we were back to being small as a pea. That meant two extra weeks of 1st trimester but we were so happy to see our little pea! Eugene nearly died when we heard the fetal heartbeat for the first time. it was amazing.
it was seriously the smallest but most beautiful thing I ever saw.
of course we has to take our first family photo. :)
As soon as we got the confirmation via U/S and Eugene finally believed that we were actually pregnant - we broke the news to our immediate family.
It was such a joy to be able to share our news with them. Because we knew that the risk of miscarrying the baby is so high in the first trimester, we decided to wait to publicize the news until we were further along. However, we thought it would be important to have our family by our side even if something were to happen. They were overjoyed!
For the last two months, I've had some pretty severe food aversions. Mainly to healthy foods, cooked chicken + fish and anything with really strong smells like pho (aka my fave food in the world). I've been eating what I can and trying to stay as well-balanced as possible but I've particularly loved cold noodles and really hot and spicy things like jjambbong. and hot cheetoes (I almost ate hot cheetoes every day for 2 weeks). and french fries. we ate a LOT of fries.
Now that first trimester has come and gone (finally!) I'm happy to be eating healthy food again and we are so thrilled to be able to share our journey with all of our friends and family. We know that nothing is for certain-- and that ultimately, we have to trust fully in God's plan for our future child and our little family. It has been a tough but sweet season of surrendering, trusting, praying and finding our hope and contentment in Christ above all things. We're praying that our trust and dependence on God will only continue to grow as we continue to progress in our pregnancy and especially as we enter into parenthood.
We decided to announce over the weekend - and of course we had to stay true to our love for Starbucks. Our friendship grew during a season when I was working at Starbucks and much of our dating memories involved this little green mermaid. People say I am obsessed - but little do they know what a significance it holds for our relationship as a whole!
--hence, our Starbucks themed engagement photos:
and our full-blown Starbucks themed wedding:
There was really no other choice. :)
Thanks for being on this journey with us!
Please pray for us :)
xoxo
{EDIT: ps. It is probably worthwhile to note, that when I came in for that first doctor's appointment after the Ultrasound, they said my ovaries were PACKED with cysts. My repeat ultrasound last friday (10 weeks later) showed that the cysts are all gone. Praise God!}
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