life with 2 under 2

tomorrow Asher turns 2 and I will no longer be a mama of "two under two". 

i can't believe it. Where has the time gone? 

3+ months ago, I was blessed to become a mama of two babes under the age of two. The idea of this has always been daunting to me. and never even crossed my mind as a possibility! Two kids in diapers? How could I possibly do ANYTHING whilst doing the around-the-clock-breastfeeding/no sleeping/caring for a fresh newborn gig? when do I pee? will I even have time to shower? what if I forget to buckle one in the carseat and start driving? What if I accidently leave one at home?! 

I couldn't imagine it. But somehow we are surviving and it has been the sweetest blessing. 

Everyone told me that it would go by fast— and man oh man, did it go fast.  To be honest it's been a bit of a blur and more often than not I am exhausted beyond my capacity and pretty much living in hot mess status EVERY DAY - but amongst the chaos, it has been so sweet and so much fun settling into our new normal as a family of four. 

 

Even though my excitement for Asher's 2nd birthday trumps any anticipation (or lack of) for the end of this two under two stage for me — I thought I'd commemorate it by sharing things i've learned and enjoyed during this short but sweet season. 

So while it's still fresh in my mind, and before its too late, and without further ado or much preparation or thought (b/c frankly, I don't have time to think through these posts too much anymore -- eep!), here are 5 random things about 2 under 2. (definitely not a comprehensive list, but the first 5 things I can think of with my very sleepy and 80% fried brain of mine.

1. Surprisingly (or maybe not so surprisingly?) the newborn stuff is a little bit easier the second time around.  Not because I'm a pro or because I "got it downnnn" but because I am a little less anxious, a little less paranoid (read: googling 100 things a day like "if my baby is snoring does that mean he is suffocating" or "does being exposed to X,Y,Z cause SIDS" etc.) and I learned from baby #1 that it's okay to leave a baby for a few mins when they're crying. when Asher was still a baby, I could never take showers in peace. I would try to keep my showers short, but I would turn the shower water off like 2-3 times to try to listen for whether or not he was crying. there were a few times that I thought I heard him crying so I came out of the shower, quickly drying myself as I rushed towards the baby with un-rinsed conditioned still in my hair -- only to find that he was sound a sleep and I was imagining it (EEP.) I can tell you proudly that this does not happen with baby #2. sometimes I get out the shower and hear baby crying in the room next door, but I will get dried and changed at a semi-calm and normal pace and get the baby when I'm done. a little crying never hurt nobody! 

2. Not gonna lie (and not even mad) but Asher ate A LOT of snacks and watched A LOT of TV that first month or two. I didn't even feel bad about it. It was awesome just being able to relax and enjoy something with him (i.e. fun musical shows or disney movie clips!) without over-thinking it or being consumed by all of the negative things you hear about screen time ("they're not gonna be able to focus in the future", "they're not gonna like reading anymore", "its gonna fry their brain").  Did he watch more than 20 minutes a day even though he isn't 2 yet and that is not what the AAP recommends? YAS GIRL. Did he get some empty calories in his system that month? YES, LOTS. But so did I and he learned all his shapes and almost the whole alphabet from shows on netflix and is obsessed with slash memorized so many disney songs during that time (mom win, IMO!) so WAM BAM THANK YOU MAM, 2017 momzillas. I loved every minute!

And for those asking, our current fave things to watch are: Little baby bum/Little baby bum learning songs on Netflix, this video compliation from "Super Simple Songs" on Amazon Video and disney movie music clips on youtube! 

3. On that note, I am a little (or maybe A LOT) more flexible with things I used to be slightly more strict about. Things like: cleaning up toys/books that are scattered everywhere hurricane style during nap time (HA! sometimes I don't even bother at the end of the day- hehe),  eating/snacking while walking around and leaving crumbs everywhere (SALL GOOD BRO, I got a vaccum), going to sleep without brushing his teeth (every now and then wont hurt!). During those first few weeks on my own I think Asher only took 2-3 baths a week (Mama was tired..) and a lot of days all he ate was rice + seaweed, or dino nuggets, or a combo of both for like 8 meals in a row (No one's complaining!) I also maybe put asher down for the day at like 5:30/6pm because I had no energy left for the day (Just being real yall.) but in the end he was fed, happy and satisfied. Baby was kept in one piece and mama was happy and not too stressed out. So wins for all.

4. Sibling love is so sweet. Seriously nothing melts my heart more than seeing Asher love on Avery. Though 80% of the time he forgets that shes a living thing and treats her like a toy (read: dragging her across the mat and piling toys on top of her) - I can tell that he is really starting to love and adore her and it really melts my heart. It makes me so happy that they are so close in age - and though it's hard trying to juggle both right now, I am so excited to see how their relationship grows and changes as they get older. I hope they are each other's second best friend (Me being their first, obviously). 

5. It is definitely harder getting out and being out with two opposed to one. I remember the first 10 times I tried to get out, it took me almost an hour from the moment I started packing the bag/getting the kids ready to the moment I actually physically got out the door.

It usually went something like this:

Finish packing the bag, double check the bag to make sure that I have both sizes of diapers and enough wipes for both of them, water/snacks for toddler, extra outfit for both kids because both were having occasional blow outs at this age for some reason (schemeing against me!) 

Who should I put in first? The baby. Toddler is running around amock, he will go crazy if I try to put him in the carseat now and he has to wait. OK baby is in, time to get the todd--- wait, is that poo I smell? Ugh no he pooed. okay let's change your diaper.

OK diaper changed, let's put his shoes on. Yay, time to start putting stuff in the car. Wha - why is the baby crying? Oh no i forgot to feed her. Nooo! OK take the toddler shoes off because he's running around the carpet with it. Take baby out of carseat, feed her. Put her back in, let's buckle her-- oh no she pooed. oh no it blew out the back of her diaper. oh no, some of the poop got on the carseat.  Why doesnt this rub off? Why is this poop so yellow. Why is this-- what is Asher eating? Where did he find that? What is -- 

You get the idea.

I'm getting better though.
I think it only takes me 20 minutes on a good day now.
with some prep the night before.
Actually, more like 30-40.

Getting there..

Though I am excited to see how they will play and interact with one another when she is a little bit older, I am trying my very best to enjoy and embrace the chaos of today. To be honest, there have been so many times in these last 3 months that I have been on the verge of tears because of feeling overwhelmed, or exhausted, or tired, or frustrated or the combination of all the above. But daily I remind myself what an absolute blessing it is to have these kiddos in my life and what an absolute honor and privilege it is that God entrusted these beautiful souls into my care. Praying that as we phase out of this stage (2 under 2) and enter a new year (2018!) and new age (I can't believe he's TWO!!!) that I will daily cling to God's grace to help me through, do my best to give myself fully/sacrifically/wholeheartedly to this task and that I would ultimately surrender it all to Him who is in control and sovereign over all things.

We can do all things (day to day, or in this new year in general!) through HIM who gives us strength!

Feeling so thankful.

Oh, and happy new year!