everybody needs you

At the tender age of 2.5 (or as he would like to call, “2 almost 3”), Asher has become quite a character. He is loud, vibrant, silly, strong-willed, opinonated, dramatic at times (SO MANY FEELZ) and learning and growing so much everyday.

There have been a few instances recently (and more frequently as of late) where he will act out and do something blantantly rebellious or (dare-I-say) mean and I have to sit down with him after an epic meltdown and many many tears (on his and sometimes my end) to talk about what happened. Most of the times, our conversations go like this. I say one of the following:

“Asher, that was really hurtful what you did. Why did you do that?”
“Asher I know you understood what I told you to do, why did you disobey?”
“Asher, why are you mad/sad/crying/screaming?”

His response is one of two things usually. It is either, “Because......(and some sort of reason)” or “I dont know”. I think it’s hilarious when he says “I dont know”, especially when its in response to “why are you sad/mad/crying?” In my head I am thinking “Me too, homie. sometimes I have no idea why i am sad/mad/crying”  I love it.

So innocent and honest.

Recently, I have been trying to teach him that he can’t be “good” or do good on his own - but that only God can help him to truly be good. We have been talking about how because we weren’t good, Jesus had to come and die for our sins so that we could be saved and have a reconciled relationship with God and it is only then that we can truly be “good”. I’ve been reminded of this truth recently for myself — that there is truly nothing good that I can muster up on my own but that any “good” that is born in me is fruit of the work of the Holy Spirit in my heart and life.

After many of these conversations, we usually try to pray and in these prayers I ask God to help us to understand that because we can’t do good or be good on our own strength, will or power - that He would teach us why we need Jesus. and why we need God to help us to trust in Him to believe that Jesus has saved us from our sins and ourselves and that we can find new life in Him!  It has been a sweet time together for us (and mostly for me) to learn and be reminded of how much we truly need Christ in our day to day and how it truly is only through Him that we can be saved.
 

Sometime last week, Asher had a really off day and got in trouble 4-5 times in the span of 2 hours for not listening, doing something mean/hurtful (usually being too aggressive or spiteful to avery when she takes his toys or ruins his magnatiles creations) or acting out in a tantrum. By that last time I was at my wits end/about to pull out my hair and asked him

 “WHY ARENT YOU OBEYING?! WHY DID YOU DO THIS?! WHATS GOING ON”

and his response, in tears:

“I NEED GOD TO HELP ME”

I nearly bawled.

I know that he is merely (and most likely just) regurgitating things that he has heard me say but hearing him say that with his own little mouth and squeaky voice nearly ruined me and drew me to my knees to just pray that these truths will slowly but surely be used by God to bear fruit in his heart and that one day He will truly see with unveiled eyes that there truly is no joy or hope or “good” in life apart from Christ.

Sobering reminders that this is a high and glorious calling. A noble task. and that the mundane things we do as moms and the (sometimes) inconvenient moments where we have to repeatedly for the 50th time discipline our kids in love — are all orchestrated opportunities for us to share Christ with our littles.

May we redeem every opportunity.

<3