give thanks / daddy goes back to work

we have enjoyed 5 amazing weeks with daddy home.

it's been so sweet and so, so helpful. but now we enter "real life" as daddy goes back to work today.

thankful for God's grace that has sustained us thus far. for confidence in His ever-present help to continue to push us forward. and for His gift to us in friends + family who care for us in such tangible (+ delicious!) ways while we work out all the details of life as a family of 4.

 

i'm nervous about having enough energy to care for/love on/play with and faithfully discipline asher during the day after a long night of MOTN feedings and whilst nursing/rocking/holding baby - but I have a meal delivered from a sweet friend (thanks, esther!), instant coffee ready to be brewed on the keurig and some freezer zucchini bread and broccoli cheddar bites and mini oatmeal cookies from trader joes to help me hold the fort down tomorrow. let's do this. here we go!

toddler tuesday: fun indoor activities

happy tuesday, friends!

 we have survived our first month with baby #2 and our transition into a family of 4 is in full swing. that also means that our month-long house arrest is pretty much over (hooray!) and we can be out and about at last. this past month pretty dang exhausting  - but also a lot of fun! i think apart from the newborn things - the hardest part was helping our 21 month old toddler transition into big-brother mode and keep him busy and occupied while we are cooped up at home.

before baby, we were out all the time. at least once a day and sometimes as much as 3 times a day (yes, i was crazy!) he was constantly interacting with other kids and other people, running around and burning off energy. hence, this month he was a little bit stir-crazy and restless so we were constantly trying to find things to do. thankfully, eugene being home has been THE BEST and he has been trying his best to take him out and do things with him, but of course we had to find things to do indoors. thankfully, I had saved and stored away (in my mental archive + closet) a few new (to him)  and fun activities/ideas specifically for this special time.

and it has PAID OFF!

so I thought I'd share a few of my faves:
ps. this post contains affiliated links. (read more)

PUZZLES

I have been collecting puzzles for over a year now, and though he was way too young for them when I started, I am so glad that I did! I bought many used ones for dirt cheap from other local moms and received many as gifts for Asher's 1st birthday. We LOVE Melissa and Doug puzzles. They are seriously the best! I have been reserving some of the more fun ones for this month so he was really excited to start playing them.

This Melissa and Doug fishing board is really fun! It's a fishing activity with magnets and a
little fishing rod. It's great for hand-eye coordination, concentration
and matching. Best part is, it keeps him quiet for a good amount of
time (5-10 minutes!) which is pretty much golden hour with toddlers at
this age!

 

Also, being cooped up inside did have some advantages because it gave us some time to practice numbers and colors with Asher. Daddy is the best teacher - and he made doing this particular Numbers Puzzle super fun for him and now he loves doing it. He just needs a drink and some snacks and he's golden.

Do-A-Dot Art Activities!

I scored these Do-A-Dot-paint markers on sale a few months ago and they are really cool!  They help keep mess to a minimum, are easy for little toddler hands to use and provide so many cool activity opportunities! At this particular age + stage, there aren't a lot of focused activities I can use these for, but he has fun messing around with them! The chuck pads that I received from the hospital serve as the perfect canvas (completely absorbent, har har) for practice! 

I'm excited to use these dot markers for other fun learning activities when he's a little older! Here are some cool ideas that I've found online so far!

 Car parking lot


This one is kind of silly but was kind of an emergency one when I needed to do something in the kitchen and Asher kept wanting me to hold him! The best thing about this is it's FREE and you can fancy it up however you'd like. It doesn't keep him preoccupied for terribly long - but it's an easy set up and gives you the 5 minutes of hands-free time. All you need is some painter's tape and toys!

On the Go Water Wow! Water Revealing Activity Pads

These are one of our favorite things ever. They are pure genius and are perfect as an indoor activity or if you need something to help keep toddlers preoccupied during long car/plane rides! They are essentially blank coloring pages that reveal color when painted with water. As you can see, Eugene was completely blown away by it and was having the time of his life and left little room for his son to take part.  

Blocks

A few weeks before my due date - I found this building blok set on the floor next to our apartment complex garbage area (yuck, I know but can we say JACKPOT?! Don't judge me!) I threw them in the washing machine and got em nice and clean and they have been Asher's fave thing to play with! It keeps him busy for FOREVER and there are so many different ways to play with them! Here we are building something to hold one of his favorite books in (LOL - see photo below). Don't tell anyone but when Asher is sleeping at night, Eugene stays up to practice building really tall structures in peace (without Asher destroying it every 2 minutes). Do all dads do this? 

Besides these things, we have been reading a lot of books, watching A LOT of videos (The movie Moana and the Little Baby Bum Learning Songs show has been Asher's faves) and listening to the same songs on repeat and going a little bit cray. But we survived our month-long stay indoors and these have been our BFFs.
Cheers to finally being able to go outside! But we are looking forward to diving into these fun things during the rainy days (that are hopefully) ahead. once this crazy hot weather realizes it's October and gives us the pumpkin-spice latte/boots/coats weather that we're anxiously waiting for! BOY BYE!!!
xoxo

avery: one month

Dang, that month flew by. 

And of course I'm about a week late -- woops! 

But, what a month! 

Happy 1 to our chubby, balding, always-grunting, bottle and pacifier loving (hooray!!!), sweet + dainty baby girl. This first month was full of all the normal newborn things: learning how to breastfeed (again), changing diapers constantly (12-15 a day!), yellow + seedy poops (which she produces at an inhumanely insane rate which awarded her the nickname "lady dijon"), getting stircrazy from house arrest, newborn smells, awkwardly trying to figure out how to hold baby correctly, burping and spit up parties, doing laundry almost every other day, milk curds hiding in neck folds, waking up every 1.5-2 hours at night to feed, trying to keep baby awake during MOTN (middle of the night) feeds so that she eats longer than 4 minutes or else she wakes up in 45 mins again to eat again (boo...) It's been quite a ride. 

As exhausted as I feel every day fumbling through thia newborn craze while also trying to keep other things in order (other things meaning keeping toddler fed and entertained, and apartment somewhat in order) it's been a blast and we are loving our little girl to pieces. 

Both Eugene and I agree that girls are pretty different! They have cuter clothes, she looks/seems so girly to us and is just so dainty compared to how Asher was when he was a newborn babe (ie the way she positions her hands when she sleeps and her little cries). Eugene is absolutely smitten and I think she already has him wrapped her tiny little (but friggin long - thanks to my genes) fingers. 

Asher has been adjusting better than we expected and he loves her too. Yay! He loves to greet her in the mornings, runs up to her in the middle of playing squealing “baaaby” in the highest little voice and gives her kisses all the time. Sometimes his affection is a little too intense and gives us 100 heart attacks but we are all just learning and taking it day by day.  People are right when they say that your first looks HUGE after baby is born because asher seems so much older and bigger to me. His head, hands, feet and poops seem so much bigger and it gives me all kinds of feels. The adjustment in the beginning was personally a little hard for me because I was wrestling with feelings of guilt and I missed playing with him but by now we have gotten a better hang of things and I'm learning how to involve him in caring for baby and still making time to have fun with him everyday. I love my little guy. 

the newborn stuff second time around has been a little bit easier to handle, too. I'm definitely not as paranoid and anxious as the first time and only Google about 20 things a day instead of 500. Also I think because I know that eventually they grow out of this stage - it helps me to savor and enjoy it more. I'm so grateful for the ways God had sustained us this far and I'm excited (and a little anxious) to see how we do next week when Eugene hours back to work! 

God's grace has brought us this far. I'm excited to see all the ways I will be able to testify of the grace and help He will continue to provide as we venture into the next month!

Ps. Here's a one week vs one month picture of asher. So crazy how fast they grow and change. 

And the same one for Avery! 

 

Talk about chubs! 

<3

avery's birth story

a week ago today, we welcomed our little baby girl into the world. how has it been a week already?

though an entire 7 days have gone by - it really feels like yesterday that it all happened. when asher was born, I wrote out the details of our birth story to help me remember the craziness of our first L&D experience - and I was always so glad that I did! so I decided to do the same for baby girl before the details get too fuzzy!

as you may or may not know, I was actually scheduled to have a c-section on that following monday (hence, the very specific count-downs I had been doing on my blog.) we were busy checking things off of our to-do list and were excited for a quiet weekend at home and a date night on sunday before her grand arrival on monday at 12pm. the friday before, I spoke to the L&D nurse via phone and did all of my pre-surgical questionaires. that day was like any other day - play date and small group meet up in the morning, a quick family dinner (fridays are family days!) at panda express and our first bible study. at bible study, I felt really achy and a little "funny" and had a gut feeling that she was gonna come soon. as I was leaving bible study, I told multiple people that I was feeling a little weird.

when Eugene left for his night shift that night, I joked with him and told him to pray that she doesn't come that day. I really felt so funny but couldn't explain why! that night, I couldn't even tidy up or do the dishes before going to bed because I just felt so beat. I lounged in bed for a few hours, and ended the night by taking some belly photos as I realized that I only had a few more days with my belly!

 I went to bed around 1:00 am and before I even fell asleep, I felt a little trickle....

 I wondered if I had accidently peed myself or if it was actually my water breaking. very slowly I stood up and made my way to the bathroom -- it kept leaking! and when I finally sat on the toilet, I felt a huge gush! (can you tell i'm a nurse? my medical terminology is just so on point.) at this point, I am low-key freaking out, trying to call Eugene at work and realizing that I don't have his work phone number. I call the hospital and after getting transferred like 6 times, I finally reach Eugene and let him know that my water broke! Thankfully I had already been texting with a few friends and ask them for help! (CJ came immediately to help take me to the hospital and Sam brought Jen to sleepover & housesit for me so that we could leave Asher at home -- thank you guys!!!!)

I got to the hospital and immediately got triaged. As I was getting tucked in, the nurse asked me why I was getting another c-section and why I wasn't trying for a VBAC. I explained that I had a c-section with my first pregnancy and though I wanted to try for a v-bac, my doctor didn't really want me to. she could sense that I really wanted to try for a VBAC so when my doctor called, she convinced him to let me and I was SO HAPPY. Here I am, swollen and beat and all but so happy signing my VBAC consent. (thanks for taking a picture of this monumental event, CJ!)

  

After signing my consent, the nurse checked me and we found out that I was already 3cm dilated! My water was also nonstop leaking at this point and I was already starting to have regular contractions! (which is so different than my first time: water leaking, but no contractions and not dilated at all. It took almost a whole day on the MAX dose of pitocin to get me to 2cm dilated.. so I was so excited how quickly I was progressing!) 

2:30 AM We got sent to L&D so that I could get settled in my room and wait for baby! 

3:00 AM my parents arrived and they put internal monitors in me to monitor my contractions and baby's heartrate. Since I was a VBAC, my doctor wanted everything to be monitored very carefully and for my labor to progress as slowly and safely as possible. My parents arrived to the hospital! 

4:00 AM Eugene was thankfully able to get someone to cover for him at work (in the middle of the night, too! thanks michael!) so he stopped by home to get a few things and then finally came to the hospital!

5:30 AM My contractions were getting stronger and stronger so I asked for the epidural and then entered into happy land once again. Honestly the epidural is the best thing in the world. After getting the epidural, we were able to rest so we got to sleep a little.

I was getting so swollen from the pitocin but I was SO happy from my epidural. All was well.

  

6:30 AM Got checked again and realized that I was 5cm dilated! The baby's head was still not really engaged (-2) so they decided that they would start me on some pitocin to help get things moving.

7:30 AM The new shift started and I got started on pitocin! It was crazy to think that the baby was gonna be coming that day!

9:30 AM Progressing more and more. 7cm dilated, 90% effaced and baby's head was slowly coming down (-1). At this point, they started messing with my pitocin because I was progressing a little too quickly than my doctor liked. I was constantly getting my legs and hips repositioned to help assist with the baby's head coming down - but everything was looking good!  For the next few hours, it was just adjusting the pitocin doses, doing constant position changes and checking my progress. Eugene and I were a little freaked out about the fact that I was actually gonna be able to maybe push this baby out. Since we had known that we were gonna have a scheduled c-section for most of our pregnancy, we had no idea what we were supposed to do (lol!) Eugene kept asking the nurse, "so, am I supposed to do something when this happens? where do I stand? what's my job?" and I was clueless as to what to expect, how to do controlled breathing, etc. I hadn't even been doing my kegels or anything - yipes! but we were just told that we would learn as we go and just to rest.

 

12:00 PM Yay! I was completely dilated and effaced and baby's head was DOWN! We had never gotten to this point with Asher so I was ECSTATIC! (With asher, I only dilated to 8/9cm and his head never really fully engaged - stayed at 0) She told us that she would let us wait another hour for my contractions to help progress me more and that we would push. She told us to get as much rest as we could so that we could tank up energy for all the pushing but - HOW?! we were freaking out and so excited to meet our baby girl. OMG OMG OMG.

1:00 PM the nurse came in to get the room ready and some volunteer girl came too. All through my pregnancy, people asked me if I would let a volunteer or a nursing student sit in on my delivery and look at all my junk when the party is going on. I never really knew if I would or not. Having been a nursing student myself, I knew how invaluable that kind of first-hand experience was - but I wasn't sure how comfortable I would feel. Not sure if it was the adrenaline/excitement of the baby coming or the epidural talking, but I was 100% okay with it and she got to watch my entire delivery. front and center, too (yipes. sorry not sorry?) 

 My body had done a lot of the work by the time pushing started - so I actually only pushed for about 30 minutes and then baby was out! It was a crazy experience!

It was all the more surreal and emotionally overwhelming because I never thought I would get to experience this kind of delivery. The moment I felt her head pop out, and eventually seeing her body spring forth from my body was equally strange and wildly emotional. I couldn't stop sobbing.  

Around halfway through my pregnancy, my doctor told me that he wanted me to do a c-section (this caught me by surprise because it was different from what we discussed when I first got pregnant!). I wasn't really given much of a choice and it took me a while to process the news. Having a second c-section meant that I would have to accept the limitations that came with it (never being able to experience a natural delivery and only being able to have 3 kids max). many of my friends knew what a process it was for me to be able to come to terms with this news and really surrender it up to the Lord. I didn't want to lose sight of what an absolute miracle it was that we were able to conceive again (after struggling to conceive for 2 years with asher) and I didn't want to lose sight of all that I had to be grateful for! With God's gracious help and and to his credit alone - I was able to really find peace with it and always joked "if it's God's will for me to have a VBAC, I will!" 

and you guys. 

I DID! and it was awesome.

being in the hospital this time around was different because we had a little one at home. Eugene went home every night to bathe asher and put him to bed so I spent a lot of time at the hospital alone. Initially I thought it would make me a little sad, but it was actually not too bad. I found ways to keep myself busy and loved having some quiet one-on-one time with my little girl.

I really wanted Asher to come meet the baby at the hospital  (so that we don't just bring her home and he freaks out wondering where she came from) and I was anxious about how he would respond. All throughout my pregnancy, he would point at my belly saying "baby" and in the last week or so before baby was born he learned her name and it was the cutest thing! I knew that he was a little young to understand fully what this new baby would do to his life and to our family dynamic - but their initial meeting was just so sweet and made me so emotional. 

And just like that, we are now a family of FOUR!

--

I made a short video documenting our adventure of bringing Avery into the world.

thanks for celebrating with us! 

so excited for the many fun and crazy times ahead. 

xoxo

give thanks / 6 days old

- 1.5 hour stretches of sleep at night (and the rare but occasional 3 hr stretch - bless up!)

- sweet friends who deliver delicious food for us (by hand or post mates!) so blessed!

- being able to do small simple chores around the house that help bring some nnormalacy back to our days (ie being able to make an Instapot dinner, or folding laundry in front of the tv!)

- spotify playlists that keep our home full of sound and my heart and mind focused on Him

- middle of the night feedings, though not my ultimate fave provide opportunity to read blogs (via my Feedly app!), cuddle baby in the face and pray 

- sibling love: is there anything sweeter?

- amazing husband slash baby daddy who takes care of asher in the morning so I can sleep in, washes dishes and takes toddler outside multiple times a day 

- the donut pillow 

- the convenience that is Keurig 

- friends who can play with and keep asher happy and entertained 

- the way baby A sleeps, so girly and cute! 

- the fact that she sleeps at all! (I know it's not always a given - so trying to be thankful for that too!) 

- lanolin cream and coconut oil 

- BOBA!!!! 

- a relatively smooth first post-partum poop experience. (I know this is tmi but anyone who has had a baby can attest to how scary that first time is!!!!! I was literally skipping out of the bedroom with praise hands afterwards. Ask my husband haha)

- mid-day family nap time at 1pm (the best!)

- being able to continue my study through Romans via BSF! 

- baby yawns 

h o m e / giving thanks

we're home. 

baby decided to change our plans and come a few days ahead of schedule which meant we got home around the same time my c-section was originally scheduled. what a whirlwind. I can't believe she is here and that we are already home - but feeling so happy and thankful. as we begin this next season at home as a family of four- we are welcomed into the sweet but challenging season of sleepless nights, around the clock cluster feeding, endless diaper changing, exhaustion-induced delirium and learning to multitask as we figure out how to settle into our new normal (read: trying to keep our toddler alive and occupied while tending to the constant and unpredictable needs of a newborn while trying to somehow remember to eat and do laundry). 

after spending our first day at home and getting a glimpse into what our new life will look like- I've been praying that God would cultivate in me an attitude of gratitude. I hope to seize even the craziness of this season to grow in my ability to see evidence of Gods grace in all things: big and small and I'm hoping this little blog if mine will give me a safe space to do just that.  so begins this series. 

so for today, I give thanks for: 

- french toast for breakfast (I seriously love hospital food, lol)

- family who live nearby and who live on us and care for us so well in sick practical and tangible ways (watching asher, picking up food, making food for us!) 

- soft newborn skin 

- an easily distracted toddler who loves to give soft kisses to baby sis (melts my heart) 

- the cuteness that is newborn diapers (so stinking small!)

- a midday nap to help me survive the day, after only sleeping two 40-min increments last night (hello night two cluster feeding party...)

- waking up from said nap to a boba milk tea drink (was so happy!!!)

- sweet and amazing husband who took toddler out for a walk to pick up said amazing boba drink

- witch hazel pads and whatever spray thing they give you at the hospital (um hello my bffs)

- reminiscent thoughts of my other best friend, the epidural from a few days ago (you the real mvp)

- the way babies look when they sleep (esp when the mouth is slightly open) 

- kissing newborn cheeks

- being able to wear my non maternity leggings, esp since I didn't need to get a csection!! 

- energy to throw one load of laundry in the wash 

life is looking pretty sweet. 

God is good. 

<3

only 4 days to go...

i can't believe it! 

I can't believe that in just a few days - baby girl will be here. 

it's so surreal.

there are just too many thoughts and feelings (FEELZ!) going on everywhere so i'll try to consolidate and organize and articulate some of that here for my safe keeping. it'll be a random vomit of words but hopefully it'll help me to remember the hazy craze of this last week before baby #2.

what have we been up to? 

life has gone on, as usual - without any drastic difference from any other week or month of our lives. errands, playdates, chores, etc. eugene has been working his new job for about 1.5 months now, so much of our lives have been trying to adjust and adapt and figure out how to fit into our new normal. eugene's days off are filled with sweet mundanes (going grocery shopping together, going out for lunch, running errands, playing at home, chores) and his work-days are busy with me keeping asher pre-occupied and coming home in time to prepare dinner, pack lunch, etc. we've somewhat gotten a routine down -- which we've realized is soon to completely change once baby girl joins the mix. 

what have you been feeling?

physically - insomnia (still, but better!), crazy lower back and hip/pelvis joint pain and a lot of baby movement. baby is definitely not comfortable in there and is making it known. sometimes it really feels like there's an alien trying to escape my body because she pushes out so hard! i've also had lingering cold symptoms for the last 2 weeks (stuffy nose, sore/scratchy throat, malaise..) and it hasn't been fun. today was the worst of it but I think we rode out the storm -- i see the light! hopefully will be all good before baby comes on monday - eep!

emotionally - I've been feeling a mix of so many things! excited, nervous, anxious! but this past week i've been feeling really sentimental with a little, tiny, miniscule ounce of sad. i've been really soaking up every day and moment with asher this week. I've really, really, really been loving our time together and been enjoying and treasuring everything about him (even the hard stuff!) he has been taking terribly short naps these days (less than 1 hour, usually only 30-40 mins) and before it would drive me a little crazy. but this week it made me happy because that meant I could spend more time with him! I've pushed his bedtime back almost a full hour everyday and he's been spoiled with really long bath times this week - like 30/40 mins long! (his fave, and my-usually-rushed-hurry-up-and-get-out-so-you-can-go-to-bed-and-I-can-rest-and-get-chores-done task) which makes for really pruny toes but also really long and fun bonding sessions of singing all his favorite songs with awesome acoustics (i've even taken my uke in there a few times and we've jammed out on all his faves including 'twinkle twinkle little star', 'wheels on the bus', 'mary had a little lamb' etc...lol!) 

thoughts

it's been a really eye-opening week for me because I realized that this week has shown me how sweet all the little mundane things are. those everyday moments that often get overlooked are such precious moments that we are so blessed to have if we just take a moment to appreciate them! having this "last week" with just asher has helped me to not stress so much about getting things done but just really be present and it has made such a profound difference in my ability to have joy and a heart of gratitude throughout the day. I realized that a lot of times, I get distracted by all the things I have to do (clean up, make dinner, etc) that I fail to just get down on my hands and knees and just enjoy him at this age right now! 

on another note: this morning, I had to make an urgent phone call and asher had a complete meltdown because I wasn't paying attention to him. he cried because I wasn't listening to what he was saying and he wanted me to hold him and then he wanted to eat a snack, and then he wanted a different snack from what I handed him and then he wanted me to give him something from another room but i couldn't make out what he was asking me for. I had trouble hearing the person on the other line and was trying to bounce back and forth from paying attention to my phone call and asking asher to be patient and "wait for mommy" and "mommy will help you in a minute" to try to prevent this inevitable meltdown - which failed if you were wondering haha. it flustered me and stressed me out - and i realized how that was a glimpse of what life is going to be like for us in a week or so! it gave me an opportunity to pray and prepare my heart for what's to come - and also to really ask God to help me to not have a grumbling spirit and wish the newborn season were to pass quickly so that we can just "get over it". i really want to enjoy every day and week and stage with baby the way I was able to with asher - so this frantic phone call chaos gave me an opportunity to do just that. twas cray cray - but felt so grateful! 

questions

there have been a lot of questions running through my mind that I want to ask myself in a few weeks or so. a lot of things I've been wondering and pondering and curious to see what future me will think and say. I decided to write it down here so that I can look back and answer it once the dust settles (don't judge because a lot of these are silly and some of them are downright crazy-sounding but these are the honest things I wonder and ask myself, probably everyday):

- will I love baby as much as I love asher?

- will I love asher less because of the baby?

- is it true that my heart/love doubles? when does that happen? at birth or later?

- is it as cray cray as people say it is? or as I feel like it will be?

- how do I go grocery shopping?! or do anything outside of the house by myself?

- who do I put in the car/carseat first? who do I take out first? 

- will I have time to do laundry? or cook? (i completely failed at meal prep btw. oops)

- how do I pack my diaper bag with two-kids worth of stuff (i.e. two diff sized diapers)? and omg how many wipes do I have to take for both babies..lol

- how will breastfeeding be different this time around? do I even remember how to do this?

- will the baby be used to sound and loud noises (asher was!) or will she be super sensitive?

- will she take the bottle? (asher never did..) 

- how will our family dynamic change after baby girl is here?

- will my recovery be similar to last time or will it be harder this time around?

- how will I guard my time with the Lord in my personal devotions?

- will my brain feel fried?

- will I eat a lot of sushi after she's born? (I really crave spicy tuna..)

- will it be/feel different having a girl this time around? 

i know i'm crazy.

to-do's

so in my last pregnancy post, I posted a list of things I wanted to do during the last month before baby girl comes. here is an update on my progress.

• I want to get my life somewhat settled before she comes: finishing unpacking, get a deep cleaning of our apartment, get an oil change/car wash

I got an oil change and car wash and probably unpacked 2-3 more boxes. and vacuumed (no way did I deep clean, HA! how funny I am.) I also did like 7 loads of laundry in the last 10 days so....

• MEAL PREP. this past week I wrote out a plan of 10 meals I want to make and freeze before baby comes. I'm hoping to finish it all in this next week or so (first, I need to clear my freezer!) I just ordered containers from dollar tree that will help me freeze meals that I can perfectly fit into my instapot and will hopefully write a post on that as well! 

yeah, so I bought these really cool containers from the dollar store that are supposed to be freezer-safe and the round-frozen-and-slightly-thawed freezer meal is supposed to perfectly fit into the instapot (so convenient!) and my goal for almost every week for the last 3 weeks was to clear out our freezer so I could make these meals but that never happened. and so I never prepped these meals. so if anyone wants any of these perfect-for-instapot freezer tupperware containers for $1/each, holla at cho girl; lol... 

• I desperately need to get a haircut. I usually cut/trim my own hair and get my hair professionally cut MAYBE once a year but I have been way overdue and this pregnancy has done all kinds of crazies to my hair - so hopefully I can get it done before she gets here. Maybe add a little color too (woot woot - mama gone wild)

Yay! I did it! I got a fresh cut and colored my hair for the first time (balayaaaged baby!) 

• Go on as many one-on-one dates with Asher and spend time together as a family of 3.

I love family time! I am definitely so thankful for the time I've been able to spend with both Eugene and Asher this last month! we went to the zoo and had a lot of sweet family time together. Love my boys.

• Go to karaoke!!!!!! (though the last time I went I went a little too crazy and got legit contractions after dancing to one of my songs. LOL) 

I wasn't able to go but maybe it's better because I'm pretty sure I would have gone into labor, lol. Eugene told me to take it easy so that I don't go into labor early before he finishes work - so I had to sacrifice. Maybe I'll go after the baby is here. They sell baby sound-protecting/eliminating earmuffs.

• Go on a date with Eugene! 

someone graciously offered to take Asher for the evening on Sunday so we will party it up one last time the day before baby's arrival. Yay! 

• Schedule all of our doctors appointments! We just got dental/vision health care again so we need to do that and we want to see our PCP's and meet baby girls' pediatrician before she comes (too ambitious?!)

We went a little crazy. we changed all of our doctors and got in a lot of appointments this past month. Asher went to the dentist (first time!). We got our eyes checked, and Eugene went to the dentist too! I also met baby girl's pediatrician, who will now also be Asher's ped too! Super busy but productive month!

• I should probably also pack my hospital bag. probably.

 I did it! well, I threw everything inside a bag. but gonna try to organize tomorrow and hopefully post what's inside again! 

last-minute to-do's?

tomorrow will be eugene's last day of work before his 'paternity leave' so I'm gonna try to wrap up a few small things (i.e. clean the bathrooms, organize the fridge/freezer, finishing packing up my hospital bag). and then do some last-minute cleaning and organizing (clean out and organize baby girl's room which is still serving as our storage room, organize the garage, finish unpacking our room, etc.) and then do some last minute stuff for the baby (move the bassinet into our room, install our infant carseat *sob*, buy some random things like infant vitamins, sterilize my bottles...maybe haha) 

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also, random fun fact: with all of the natural disasters taking place and the rumors of a big earthquake coming to california later this year -- eugene has been on an emergency kit craze and it has been a mix of hilarious and super adorable. we are currently in the process of getting our backpack together and he bought so many cases of water over the weekend (LOL) so if yall have any suggestions on what to put in our bag, let us know! (i.e. do we have to pack underwear?) 

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one more thing! 

last year, the week of asher's due date I did a walk down memory lane post with a chronicle of my relationship with Eugene from friendship to dating to marriage to babyland. it was such a fun post for me to write and share so I thought i'd share it again here. THE TIME IS NIGH (once again!)

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until next time!

xoxo

a letter to my 20-month old first-born, not-a-baby-anymore-but-always-gonna-be-my-baby, "baby baby boy"

dear darling baby boy,

happy 20 months! 

words can't express how grateful we are for you and how much joy and fun you bring into our little lives. at this age - you are friendly, silly, temperamental (at times!), very opinionated, picky (esp when it comes to songs we are listening to in the car), curious, easy going and so sweet.  you love to sing and dance. you generally eat really really well, though you aren't a huge fan of veggies (surprise, surprise). you are obsessed with trains, buses, vehicles in general, wa-wa, animals and fruit pouches (every morning when you wake up your first word is "pouch", lol!) you just started calling me "mommy" instead of "mama". you constantly need my attention - when I'm in the middle of a conversation you go 

"mama, mama, mama, mommy, mommy"

"yes baby?" 

"what's this?" (pointing to some random object)

you just started repeating everything I say and are learning so many words. Today we were at Target and I was trying to decide which travel shampoo to buy and you continued to repeat "how bout....this" after mommy said it once. (so cute! *sob*) you love eating spicy food (including kimchi and hot cheetos). you love to push buttons while saying "press" and "push". you always remind us to turn the light off by saying "off". you like to 'help' me in the kitchen - esp washing rice! you are really good at throwing away your diapers while saying "trow" (throw) and "twwwash" (trash) but sometimes you ask me to do it for you by saying "mama". you sleep with your toddler pillow, three blankies (lovingly called "boaw" and your two bears who you lovingly named "ash" and "tiko" (after grandma). you hate getting your diaper changed. You always want to go outside and ask all the time if u can go "owsss". I love it when you say the words "next", "arm" and "meh meh" (hehe). As of yesterday you stopped signing and now verbally say "all done" and "more".  you've lost some interest in books (mommy's fault) but love to scribble and are getting really good at puzzles! you love to be held and carried, which is hard for me to do in this 90+ degree heat whilst 37 weeks pregnant but I love holding you! you like to cuddle and rest your head on our shoulder - only immediately before bedtime and will ask to go "night night" when you're tired. you just recently started calling mommy's belly "baby" and love to share your snacks and water and give baby hugs and kisses (except when you're grumpy after naps. millions of little details I never ever want to forget.  we love you so. 

In just a little over two weeks, you will no longer be our only child but will be promoted to "big brother" and "first born". In many ways I'm nervous about your sister coming because of how it might change our dynamic and relationship with you. You made me a mama when you entered into this world - and it's hard to imagine what it will be like to have another baby. because you're my baby. people tell me that once the baby comes, you will seem so much bigger and older. which strangely makes me a little sad. I love that you're my baby. 

I can't imagine how our lives will be a month from now but it is with a full heart and so much gratitude that I anxiously wait for our new transition as a family of 4. I feel so thankful and blessed that God chose me to be your mama and hope and pray that I will daily cling to His grace to be faithful to his calling and for the strength and wisdom to do this job well. though you will not be the baby baby of the family anymore, you will forever be my baby and I love you so! 

let's do this thang baby boy. 

gird up your loins. 

xoxo,

mama

{toddler tuesday}: fun and easy flash card box activity

it's been a while since i've posted a toddler tuesday post! it's technically still monday but if I wait until "tomorrow" (which is in 30 minutes) then I will forget and then it will be wednesday and I will wait another week since it's "toddler TUESDAY"  and then i'll forget again and then another few months will go by and then we will be back to where we started... so here we go:

HAPPY TODDLER 'TUESDAY'! 

recently -  i've been trying to think of/plan for/collect supplies for more and more toddler-friendly activities. so despite the lack of posts - i've been brainstorming, I promise! I've been researching, planning and thinking up as much as possible as we prepare for baby girl to arrive. i'm hoping to find lots of ways to keep asher occupied and entertained - especially during the early months when baby is glued to my body and my brain is on slow-mo. (T-3 weeks from today -- eeeeeeeppp!)

though I have collected (and hidden) a few special toys and workbooks for him to play with - i've been trying to find things at home that I can use! i'm realizing that it's not terribly hard to find junk to use for fun activities to keep his mind and hands busy.  this little activity has been a super easy, cheap and semi-sometimes-successful so I thought i'd share! 

i'm sure almost every mom out there has one of these:

these are the empty plastic wipe containers that you get for free when you buy certain wipes in bulk. some moms have an endless amounts of these - and I was blessed to benefit from one mama who wanted to give all of hers away (I think I ended up taking 4). I use them for wipes (like they were inteded for) but also use to store my wash cloths, etc. during our recent pre-moving day purge, i wondered if I should toss these ... then I thought of trying to use it for one of asher's quiet time activities!

target's dollar section has recently been AMAZING for toddlers/young school aged kiddos. they've had so many cool and cheap ($1-3) things for educating little minds and the asian in me went cray cray. I bought so many random (and maybe useless) things. these flash cards were one of those things. although he is a little to young to be learning his ABC's (he's only 1.5 years anyway!), I figured I can use these little thangs to keep him busy in the meantime. 

supplies needed: 

empty wipes box

flashcards (or any small object of your choice!) 

I dump the cards out and I have asher put the cards back in the box through the small slit on top. i think the cards were slightly too big to fit comfortably so I snipped the corners a little to make it easier for him. seems completely boring, right? I was amazed at how quiet and pre-occupied this kept him. some days he will sit for about 4 minutes doing it. sometimes 15. FIFTEEN MINUTES YOU GUYS. do you know how much stuff you can get done in 15 minutes when you don't have a toddler swinging on your leg like a monkey? i'm talking load the laundry, do some dishes and maybe even take a quick shower AND pee (in peace). it's amazing. 

it's super easy to set up, SUPER CHEAP (like $1 cheap!) and has been a good little activity to keep him busy and help him practice some fine motor skills.

as all things in toddlerland - it is hit or miss, but this has been toddler-tested x2 (thanks, baby H!) so I'd say give it a shot. 

cheers to more quiet + independent play! *fingers crossed*

2017 resolutions: child training bible - DONE!

happy august, soon to be september! womp womp.

i had been meaning to do a blogpost in june to give an update on the resolutions that I set in the new year - but of course, i forgot. thankfully, my resolutions this year were all realistic and were meant to help me do the things that I should be striving to do every year anyway so it's been going pretty well! however, wanted to provide an update because I actually accomplished one of my goals today: 

I finished setting up my child training bible! 

click HERE: for my 2017 resolutions blogpost

A few years ago - a group of moms at our church ordered the child training bible kits and I began working on it while I was pregnant with Asher. I was encouraged by God's promise to us in Isaiah 55:11 and so challenged and convicted by His command to us in Deuteronomy 6:6-9:

 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

As Asher grows and develops more month-by-month, I see how important it is for me to be constantly equipping myself with God's word to train and disciple Him. I knew that my own personal "wisdom" (for lack of better word) and good intention would not suffice to raise Asher up to be a man of God. It is only His word and His Spirit that can help me to really be faithful in raising Asher up in the way of the Lord. 

My goal was to finish setting the bible up whilst also familiarizing myself with different passages in Scripture that address different behaviors/heart issues. It did so much good for my own soul to be able to search through the Scriptures myself and to see how richly God has provided us with the help that we need to live the life that we have been called. 

The awesome thing about this Child Training Bible is that it takes the instructions from Scripture itself and makes it easy for you to quickly find verses that relate to specific issues. The tedious/time-consuming task of trying to get all of this done did take up a few of my weeknights, but it ended up being a tremendous blessing to me. I can see how this will be a tool that will serve our entire family - and not just our children! 

More and more I am seeing what a high calling it is to raise a child. To be honest, the gravity, weight and burden (for lack of better word..) of this responsibility is often quite daunting to me. However, I find such comfort, strength and confidence knowing that God is always sovereign - that He works out all things according to His will and provides us with everything that we need to be faithful to the task that He has called us to. Praying that His word would continue to be the lamp unto our feet so that we can help lead and guide our littles to the joy and hope of knowing Christ! 

xoxo

Order your own kits here: Child Training Bible

and these post-it flags and colored highlighter set correspond with the colors needed to put this together! 

T-1 month until baby girl!

not sure where the time has gone...

 but as of today we are only 1 month away from baby girl's sweet arrival. yipes! 

this pregnancy has been quite different than my first. life has been a bit crazier this time around with so many transitions (moving to a different apartment, eugene finishing residency and starting a new job, etc) and trying to entertain, chase, and somehow keep our toddler fed and happy. there have been countless days when I would almost forget that I was pregnant and moments that I would have a minor anxiety attack realizing how far along I was in my pregnancy and how little time I have to prepare for baby's arrival. 

well - now we are officially at the 1 month mark and it's crazy to think that she will be here so soon.

lunch break at work @ 33 weeks

i haven't really written much since our pregnancy announcement -- oops! to be honest, i've been trying to write a blog post re: this pregnancy for a few weeks now -- and have been putting it off because there is just so much to cover and I kept feeling overwhelmed! and let's be honest - i'm just a little tired over here! so as a way to keep it short and sweet, i'll do another quick + random q&a including some questions that I get asked almost weekly - moreso for my own memory! (Here is mine from my first pregnancy!)

do you have the nursery ready? 

not at all. our nursery is still serving as a faux-storage closet (so spacious and convenient - lol!) though we have been collecting all of our stuff for baby girl in there so I guess it's still technically her room hehe (sorry baby girl)

how is this pregnancy different from your 1st?

my pregnancy this time around is pretty similar to my pregnancy with asher: same symptoms (nausea with minimal to no vomiting, feeling gassy, INSOMNIA, crazy back/hip pain), similar food aversions (meaty bowls of pho, raw chicken breast) and not too many cravings (except hot cheetos and milk tea). the biggest differences have been having to work night shifts (though infrequently, PTL!) and having to take care of a crazy active, always-hungry, constant-redirection-and-discipline-requiring toddler. 

hardest part of this pregnancy?

definitely my insomnia + the pelvic/hip/back pain. I had pretty bad insomnia when I was pregnant the first time, but this time around has been pretty brutal. like laying in bed with my eyes closed but mind fully awake for 4-6 hours kind-of-brutal. last friday I couldn't sleep until about 4:30am and Asher woke up 2 hours later and I (almost) cried a little bit. haha

what are you most excited to eat after baby is born?

SUSHI. Cheap, possibly slightly contaminated all-you-can-eat kinds of sushi. I've had multiple dreams of eating mediocre sushi at a seafood buffet. The sweet college students gifted me with a gift card to an AYCE sushi place and I can't wait to go!

current cravings?
korean food - specifically cold noodles and korean bbq. taiwanese style milk tea with boba. and ice cream (like the big, thick scoops from haagen daaz kinds)

how do you feel right now?
sore, achy and stiff! physically exhausted but mentally on-wire (hey hello insomnia. again) and round/bloated and super slow. I feel puffy all the time, specifically in my face.

current guilty pleasures?
sitting on the recliner for an hour after I put asher down to bed and doing nothing (moreso mentally and physically recovering from the day haha!) and eating ice cream at night after a hot shower.

have you been taking baby bump photos?
i think I have taken a total of 3-4 during this entire pregnancy (contrast to the 30+ I probably took - like one every week - with Asher). and for most of my pregnancy I never knew how far along I was/what "week" I was. I always said about 4 months, about 6 months, etc. lol!

what are you looking forward to? 

newborn cuddles, becoming a family of 4 and having a baby girl (!!!), seeing Asher grow into his role as a big brother (he is currently obsessed with this bear doll and he has recently been asking to sleep with it in his crib and he makes me give the bear a blanket too. it is the cutest thing and i know he is gonna be such a great big brother once he gets over the FOMO trauma - lol)

what are you most nervous about?

to be honest - more than my labor/delivery and all of the newborn crazies (breastfeeding, middle of the night wakings, etc) the thing I am most nervous about is: ASHER. yipes. I am just so nervous about how he will transition and cope with the divided attention. I know that he will eventually grow in to it but for some reason, I still get a little anxious! he's also been more temperamental these days and requiring a lot more discipling - but I'm thankful that a lot of those opportunities are coming up now before she arrives so that I hopefully can lay some ground work in! I've also been hiding different activities and special toys for him to play with once she comes (i.e. bust em out one at a time during those emergency situations!) and want to try my best to spend 1-on-1 time with him at least every other week once we transition. we'll see how it goes! he has no idea...

most thankful for during this pregnancy?
of course so many things! but I guess top 5:

• eugene  - who tries to help me take care of Asher on his days off by taking him out for the morning/breakfast so that I can catch up on chores/nap! he has been so sweet and thoughtful and helpful during these last few months especially! 
• my mama friends - who keep me company, help me watch asher so that I can run errands/go to appointments/have a break, who encourage and challenge me every single day! 
• the amazing collegians (and company!) who have helped me so much during this pregnancy with packing/unpacking during the move, or simply just coming over to play with asher, help me take out the trash/wash dishes, etc. i definitely would not have survived with them! so thankful that they practically live at my place! 
• time to read: though not incredibly abundant - i'm thankful that different people and small groups have challenged me to read more books this past year! and also been really treasuring the times I can spend reading the Word! I'm realizing just how important it is for me to be always abiding in God's word for strength, spiritual sobriety and wisdom to know how to teach/train/disciple our crazy son haha
• netflix/amazon video/spotify toddler song playlists - let's be real. sometimes this mama needs a break. just a short one yallz - don't go cray. and by sometimes I mean at least once a day. I am most grateful for little baby bum nursery rhyme videos, chuggington (for some reason, asher's current fave which he loving refers to as "ttoo-ttoo!") and daniel tiger. 

what kinds of things do you want to do before baby comes?

• I want to get my life somewhat settled before she comes: finishing unpacking, get a deep cleaning of our apartment, get an oil change/car wash
• MEAL PREP. this past week I wrote out a plan of 10 meals I want to make and freeze before baby comes. I'm hoping to finish it all in this next week or so (first, I need to clear my freezer!) I just ordered containers from dollar tree that will help me freeze meals that I can perfectly fit into my instapot and will hopefully write a post on that as well! 
• I desperately need to get a haircut. I usually cut/trim my own hair and get my hair professionally cut MAYBE once a year but I have been way overdue and this pregnancy has done all kinds of crazies to my hair - so hopefully I can get it done before she gets here. Maybe add a little color too (woot woot - mama gone wild)
• Go on as many one-on-one dates with Asher and spend time together as a family of 3.
• Go to karaoke!!!!!! (though the last time I went I went a little too crazy and got legit contractions after dancing to one of my songs. LOL) 
• Go on a date with Eugene! 
• Schedule all of our doctors appointments! We just got dental/vision health care again so we need to do that and we want to see our PCP's and meet baby girls' pediatrician before she comes (too ambitious?!)
• I should probably also pack my hospital bag. probably.

do you feel ready?

I would assume that if you ask any mama-to-be, the answer would always be: NO. there's really no way to feel ready for this kind of change/transition. I honestly have no idea what to expect! I also feel like I haven't really had much time to mentally prepare for her arrival because I feel like there hasn't been as much time/opportunity for me to think about it as I did with Asher. this scares me a bit and it does make me feel really nervous but I realize the only thing I can do is PRAY to prepare! I'm praying that despite how unprepared I feel  - that I would really be able to just entrust it all to the Lord! I know that only He can help me find my peace and confidence knowing that His grace will carry us through every challenging moment of balancing the newborn baby + toddler lifestyle, long/sleepless nights and the utter chaos that comes in those early few months.

can't believe we are just a month away.

xoxo