hello, maternity leave!

I'm officially on maternity leave! 

My doctor decided to take me off work 1.5 weeks early because the baby is bigger than anticipated and I 'dropped' last week. The baby is sitting nice and low right now, making himself quite comfortable near my pelvis. Thanks to him, I'm getting lots of exercise walking to-and-from the bathroom almost every other hour! Even though I was sad to leave work earlier than expected, I'm so thankful for the extra time that I have to rest and prepare before baby makes his grand debut in the next month or so!

I worked on Monday, not knowing that it was my last shift. I'm thankful that it was a relatively good day with lots of hugs and sweet treats. We ordered via doordash and had the most amazing seafood + steak burritos. I was able to make a patient who was in severe post-op pain a lot more comfortable by the end of my shift, gave lots of hugs to my patients' family members and got to share a cup of Starbucks coffee with my hospice patient (his request + his first oral intake in 6 weeks!) before the end of my shift. It was a rewarding day and I'm glad that I can hold onto memories like that as I enter into this season of being away from work! 

It's a strange feeling! I feel (almost) guilty for having all this free time -- but I'm trying to remember that it's good for both me and baby and I'm gonna try to just enjoy it! I started my maternity leave by reading + enjoying a cafe napoli from kean coffee and set up our baby monitor all by myself (HOLLA!) 

I also spent time compiling lists of things to do and things to look forward to during these next few weeks. :) It made me excited to see all the things I'll be able to do and all the things I can look forward to in the month before baby arrives.

things (I want/need) to do before baby comes!

• finish the nursery (clean the clutter, wash + organize clothes, set up baby monitor, hang things, set up curtain rods!) 
• deep clean the kitchen and bathrooms (who knows when that will happen again after baby arrives?)
• figure out insurance things 
• put together hospital bag (at least by next week)
• meet + choose baby's pediatrician 
• finish the books I'm reading and read more if possible!
• make christmas cards
• go to the beach a few times, just because!
• take lots of walks and do lots of prenatal workouts
• host lots of get-togethers

things that are happening before baby comes!

• baby showers! 
• babymoon trip to SD with my sisters
• lots of family time
• eugene ends his hardest rotation!
• date night with eugene every night after his rotation ends
• lots of weddings for our sweet friends
• christmas reunion with my college friends :) 

hoping that I can make the most of my time off and use it faithfully + fruitfully :) 

xoxo

40 days of thanksgiving...while you're away!

Yesterday I sent Eugene off for his 6 week rotation "away".

cue violins and sad, dramatic music.

Thankfully, he will be trying to stop by home to see me at least once on the weekends, so it's up to me to get through the week and spend it well while he's away. I've been preparing for this 6-week stretch for the last few months. We've been talking about it, praying about it and I've been planning for it for a long while now. Being in my third trimester of pregnancy makes him being away a lot harder and makes me a lot clingy-er than I usually am. I've grown quite dependent on him to help me as it's been harder for me to move around and do things on my own. Who's going to take down the trash for me? Who's going to help me off the bed/couch when I can't seem to roll over on my other side? (I know these are all silly things that I need to stay being a baby about...don't judge me!)

Over the weekend, Eugene spent a lot of time preparing. He printed out a lot of his own notes, packed his things (clothes, school supplies, printer, etc) and I just ate ice cream by the tub to make myself feel better.

Yesterday, we made a trip to Costco to stock up on essentials: large containers of water + detergent for me - crates of coffee, protein bars, xerox paper and bathroom things for him. We dropped it off at his Airbnb and got the room all the set up.

We had a late lunch with his parents and said our goodbyes.  There were tears (me, I'm ridiculous - I know.) and hugs/kisses and reassuring words (him) and then we went our own ways.

Even though it's sad to be apart, I know that these 6 weeks will offer me a very unique and special opportunity to prepare for the baby, spend my time with people, spend time alone and to learn a great deal of things. I would hate to waste it. So of course, as always, I have compiled a list of things to do and accomplish in these 6 weeks I have to myself. I have already filled my calendar up with outings and short trips - but have also allotted time for me to be alone as well. 

There are a lot of things to do and a lot of exciting things that will be happening in these next 6 weeks. I want to embrace everyday and find the evidence's of God's grace in all the little details of my day so I'm going to try to do a #40daysofthanksgiving challenge. It's perfect because it coincides with the Thanksgiving holiday.

 In 40 days, Eugene will be back home from his rotation - but in the time he's away I'm gonna try my very best to make the most of it!  Hopefully I'll be able to accomplish all my goals and get all my chores done before he comes home and baby arrives. We're hoping that the baby doesn't make his debut during this rotation -- but I guess we'll just have to be prepared and wait + see.

Until then, cheers to 40 days of giving thanks! 

xoxo

{dear baby} 31 weeks of you / 4 years of us

dear baby,

happy 31 weeks! 

we've reached the homestretch and it's crazy/scary/exciting to think that you will be here in just a few months! we're hoping that you don't come too early since daddy will be gone for a 6 week rotation and will be done only 2 weeks shy of your due date. so try to stay in there, okay? 

today we went in for our 3rd trimester growth scan. i found out today that this isn't an ultrasound that people generally do -- except your scan last trimester actually showed that you had a choroid plexus cyst on your brain, which is a soft marker for trisomy 18. although they told us that your risk of  trisomy 18 was relatively low (our blood work looked 'stellar', they said) -- we were able to get a follow up ultrasound to see if the cyst went away or not. daddy and I had donuts and coffee this morning before our appointment. 

we would love you no matter what - but we were so happy to hear that everything looked perfect. we even got to see your little face as you were turning your head!

thankfully, she was able to snap a quick picture and we nearly melted a million times!

you are a whopping 4 lbs and 3 oz already (almost 1lb heavier than expected at your gestational age). we have about 9 more weeks of growing to do, so don't fatten up too much! but please continue to grow well. our hearts are so full with gratitude for the way God has been growing you so far. it's so crazy to think that you went from a pea-sized bundle of cells to an actual baby with ventricles in the brain, a spine, a stomach and a little face! our God is truly an amazing creator.

as of last week, daddy and I have officially been married for 4 years. it's crazy to think that much time has passed already. this past week, we've been busy getting your nursery together, building furniture and  talking and thinking about you a whole lot. you've also been kicking and jumping around a lot more these days - daddy even felt your 5 karate kicks in a row and was so weirded out! it's crazy to think how much you are a part of me. it's crazy to think that what I eat directly supplies you with the nutrients you  need -- that the water I drink hydrates you and that every single thing I do affects you because we are connected (albeit via an umbilical cord, but connected nonetheless!) it's crazy because I feel like you are so "one" with me. 

you'll learn this when you're a bit older, but the bible says that the only person that I am truly "one" with is my husband/your daddy. this feeling of "one"-ness with you has been making my true "one"-ness with your daddy so much more real to me. to think that, no matter how much it feels that you are truly the person that I am most "one" with, that in God's eyes that I am not one with you but with your daddy. 

marriage is so beautiful. so sacred. and such a beautifully profound shadow of the "one"-ness we have with Jesus. God specifically ordained marriage to be the institution in which Christ's love for us in the gospel is most clearly displayed. everyday I experience this uniquely intimate connection that I have with you - and am reminded all the more that, my covenant unity in marriage to your daddy is something even beyond that. i'm learning more deeply what it means to be "one" in marriage, but even moreso, the unimaginable beauty of the love of Christ for us.

praying that daddy and I will be able to guard, protect and grow in our marriage even after your arrival, and praying that together we will learn more and more deeply the depth of God's love for us in the gospel.

thanks for the lessons (and the kicks!), baby. 

can't wait to see you soon.

love always,

mama